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Thought this was funny - about dogs and cats


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#1
coachwife6

coachwife6

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A dog's diary:
7 AM - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 AM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 AM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

The cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while
I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the
furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself
to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due
to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.
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#2
p-zero

p-zero

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LOL! Sounds just like my cat.
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