I hit f5 on the next reboot and ran the standard 'most recent settings', 'safe mode', all to no avail. I then attempted to use the 'disable automatic restart at system failure' option, and for a moment it appeared as if this had at least halted the restart scourge.
Unfortunately, after the Windows XP loading bar appeared I was presented with a blue screen which told me two things: unmountable boot volume and this windows error - 0x86F599E0 (0xC000006, 0x000000, 0x000000)
Alright, so, what the [bleep] does that mean, and is there anything remotely feasible that I can do to solve my little..problem. I'm assuming it's all due to a corrupted harddrive.
Help me, Geekstogo, you're my only hope