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yarrrggghhh ye scurvy dog


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#1
dsenette

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post your best pirate jokes (or worst...my personal favorites are the worst) just make sure they're clean

Q: did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out?
A: it's rated AAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!

Q: what's a pirate's favorite fruit?
A: AAARRRRRGGGHHH-anges

Q: Why are pirates always so angry?
A: the just AAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!

(i've got more but it's time to go home...talk amongst yourselves)
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#2
warriorscot

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Talk like a pirate day website is hilarious, the pirate pick up lines are hilarious,im eventually going to get drunk enough to put on a pirate hat and use one one day.
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#3
sarahw

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A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?

"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eyepatch"?

"A seagull dropping fell into my eye.", replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well...", said the pirate, "...it was my first day with the hook."




My fravorite pirate line is in Family Guy. (you would have to see it).
Peter is talking to a sailor with two wooden peglegs, and two wooden arms. He asks if it was from a fishing accident. The sailor say's no my father was a tree. (like I said you would have to see it.)
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#4
dsenette

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(like I said you would have to see it.)

i did see it...and i LAUGHED so hard
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#5
frantique

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How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buck an ear!!! Aaaarrrgh!

What's the pirate's wife's name?
Peggy.

Where does a pirate programmer keep his source code?
In his C chest.

What has 8 legs, 8 hands, and 8 eyes?
8 pirates!

I HOPE THIS ONE'S CONSIDERED ACCEPTEBLE!!!
A pirate walks into a bar with this enormous steering wheel stuck down his pants. The bartender can’t help but ask, “What’s with the steering wheel?” “ARRRRGGH,” the pirate answers, “it’s drivin’ me nuts.”

A pirate walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The barman looks at him and says "How'd you get that?"
The parrot answers "It started off as a wart on me bum"

A pirate walks into a bar. He says "Ouch!".
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#6
james_8970

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My fravorite pirate line is in Family Guy. (you would have to see it).
Peter is talking to a sailor with two wooden peglegs, and two wooden arms. He asks if it was from a fishing accident. The sailor say's no my father was a tree. (like I said you would have to see it.)


I'd have to agree.
James
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#7
dsenette

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what's a pirate's favorite vegetable?
AARRRRRRGGGHHHH-techokes

why do pirates like museums?
the like to appreciate AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH-T!

what's a pirates favorite branch of the military?
the navy (duh...they like boats...did you think it was the AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH-my? or the m-AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH-ines? or maybe the Coast Gu-AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH-d?)
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#8
frantique

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Hmm

What do pirates wear on their heads?
sc-AARRRRRRGGGHHH-fs

What does a pirate's pet sheep say?
b-AAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH

(These are just getting worse!)

What did the Buddhist pirate attribute the loss of his leg to?
k-AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH-ma
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#9
dsenette

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why is it best not to try to haggle with pirates?
they drive a hard b-AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH-ain

why do pirates prefer light cigarettes?
less t-AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!
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#10
warriorscot

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http://www.corsairme...ch_results.html click on the jolly roger and be mildly amused.
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#11
frantique

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What did the pirate have on the floor in his cabin?
A r-AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

What is a pirate's favourite herb?
p-AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH-sley
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#12
dsenette

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what's a pirate's favorite pie filling?
rhub-AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH-b
(some times they like key lime...depends on the day and what they had for supper)
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#13
frantique

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Yes, but come on. What do they like to have with their pie?
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH-s cream
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#14
dsenette

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arse cream?...well that just sounds gross
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#15
frantique

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No, silly. Arghs cream - there's a g in there - can't you speak pirate?
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