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Mistaken Vacation


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#1
Magosis

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Well I suppose first of all I'm going to expect a few posts telling me I should have known better, once i get into the story that is. But to understand were i'm coming from I think you will need to know a little about my past. I'm a 19 year old ex software engineer currently working in tech support. When i was 17 the company i had worked for, for a year went bankrupt and I was jobless, the people who started the company i had work for prior were looking to reform a new Development team, I figured i was a shoe in for at least something. Unfortunately and I'm not sure exactly what happened here but one of the 6 people i trained with the other company wound up beating me out for the position. I then went through some real dead end jobs till i wound up working for Comcast tech support. shortly after i had been working there a month i met a girl, and we were together for a long time. We were engadged, but life got in the way. this was unfortunate because the other relationships in my life consisted of people after dating for a couple weeks deciding they "didn't want to ruin our friendship" I was told be almost all of my friends and girls I've dated thus far "nice guys finish last" and "you have to be an *** hole if you want to get anywhere" To this day I am fighting this statement.



I was really psyched when i met this cool girl online, me and her talked on web conference constantly and we started to like each other. here is were I should have known better. I agreed to take a 2 day bus ride to come see her in Kansas. I got here things were great we talked about how we liked each other and how it was good I was here. Then one night we were talking and the idea of distance came up... and the fact I'm 3 years younger than her. but that wasn't the real worry at the time, she started saying how i was "too nice of a guy" and i deserved better. things went on over the week I've been here and the eventuality of "I don't want to ruin our friendship" came along as it always does. Now I'm sitting at her computer and she is in the other room with her friends. I want to go home but when i said i did she looked so hurt i backed down. I don't know what to do or say. I'm not trying to act emo here, I'm just lost and well this community has been there for me for a while so I, well am looking for advice. Not matter what I do she seems to be hurt by it.
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#2
Mr. Green

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You are 19, if things don't feel right to you leave, you have alot of time in front of you. I know I am not much older but I get to see young soldiers find girls and fall in love and then get drug down in despair when they get dumped. The point is make sure before you commit and if it doesnt seem right then it isnt. I think you need to ask her what the situation is in her eyes, then go from there.
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#3
warriorscot

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Lost in Kansas, wow, well i know your fighting the [bleep] thing but if youre on the pull as we say here take a go at the friends(assuming they are female), relax it didnt work but you seem to like the person have a bit of fun she might change her mind you never know.
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#4
Magosis

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Well thanks for the advice guys last night was my last night here and she decided to go spend it with one of her other friends while myself and her roomate looked after her daughter. guess that answers my questions for me -.- But I'm not going to let this get me too much down. I simply feel like an idiot for wasting my vacation time and travel budget fr the year coming out here.
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#5
dsenette

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she started saying how i was "too nice of a guy" and i deserved better.

she said it herself...you deserve better....like someone who's willing to put into a relationship what you're willing to put in...there's not a person on the planet who should have to settle for anything...as mr green said..you've got time..you'll find the right person...who knows...might even be a geek! (how lucky would that be? then you'd have someone to help write your tutorials)
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#6
fleamailman

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It's funny that when you get the death card in tarrot pack one mistakenly thinks that someone is going to die but that card doesn't mean that for most interpretations, it means that that situation in dead and it is time that the spirit moved on. OK, it is really hard for someone your age to look inwards but since you do know how to create stuff (I have seen what you have contributed ont this site) I would suggest either creating artwork, or doing a blog.

What is clear is that you are lost because you are out of sinq with yourself. Move away from the stuff directly around you, look at the fool in the tarrot pack, he is on a journey, he looks up and ignores the things around him, you could be that fool then, finding yourself could be your journey, ah but the fool also carries the stuff he needs for his journey(family, friends, work, etc.) whereas most people are just carried along by the stuff.

What is it going to be then?

Edited by fleamailman, 05 August 2006 - 02:23 PM.

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#7
harrythook

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Hey Magosis, don't get to down about this.
Dr Phil I am not, so take this advice as words from just another friend. At 19, this experience is just another step in learning life. Look at it as you met some new people, learned a couple of things, and did not waste your vacation time/money but gained some valuable experience.
If it worked out, great. Since it did not, move on. Use what you have learned in your next relationship. I know that what you are dealing with now is very important at the moment, but trust me, you will survive.

Life is what it is, enjoy it. Everything will come to you, its up to you to decide how to deal with it. Just try to enjoy the ride!
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#8
Magosis

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Actualy I just had an honest talk with her about it, maybe not being the steriotype of the nice guy but I think I did the right thing, And good news things look like they are going to after all.
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