[†Gladiator†]

Like all 17 yr old boys do, I did something stupid and angered a very good female friend of mine. It's nothing really bad, i just acted like an arrogant jerk and said somthings that hurted her feelings. Now she's really mad and won't speak to me. We have known each other for 6 yrs and I have tried everything to apologize but it's not really working... plus it's her birthday soon and i don't want her to be still mad at me...

Any suggestions?

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Lol apologize and make it up


btW this is a computer help forum

Edited by nerdcentral, 21 August 2006 - 11:34 AM.

[nerdcentral]

Lol apologize and make it up


btW this is a computer help forum

Edited by nerdcentral, 21 August 2006 - 11:34 AM.

[†Gladiator†]

hehe but it does say random discussions....

[jaxisland]

Ahhh, I see you have learned first lesson young grasshopper.

For me, and I do speak from experience because I routinely dont know how to talk to women, not a disrespect thing, its I see 2 sides to everything, black and white. The women I know see gray.

But anyways, I would use the saying for this one, "Go big, or go home."

Do something really special for her, on her birthday, she will come around.

[warriorscot]

You either need to be really profound or really funny, i dont know about seeing grey i think it may be some shade of magenta.

[carlanyc]

hmmm, maybe sit down...write a letter..express your true feelings and utter apoligies. then do something big for her on her b-day and hand her the letter. Hopefully she'll come around, I would after the things i mentioned.

[warriorscot]

One biggy never express true feelings to women, womens minds work in starnge and mysterious ways and will find mens true feelings shocking and digsuting, unless you are some girly man and can think like they do but if you could do that you wouldnt be in the mess.

[carlanyc]

well at least write and say Im sorry and that you can never lose the friendship because its been 6 years already..blah blah blah. I dunno..its just a suggestion
Good luck.

[†Gladiator†]

i would appreciate more input from more female members... some suggestions on what girls wanna hear when they are extremely pissed off and what would cheer them up.

Edited by †Gladiator†, 21 August 2006 - 07:16 PM.

[Maiestas]

If she’s a long time friend making apology as simply as possible that holds a lot of meaning, effort, care etc. is your best bet. Going out all big just shows, well for me at least is, an easy escape and brush off what you did (you must have hurt her a lot, for her not to forgive you by now- as small as you may think it was) under the carpet.

It’s her birthday – make the apology meaningful and sincere. Dig up some good memories or something and show her you care for her birthday - if she means this much to you it shouldn’t be that hard. 6 years of friendship is not something you want to go down the drain.

[fleamailman]

My children are about your age then and please don't ever think of it as a male/female thing or you won't understand people. Keep in touch with her whatever, often it is her seeing you as caring about her feelings now which counts more than anything you actually say. You have shown thoughtlessness, now is period that you must show understanding. See if you can turn off the computer, music etc., and sit in the room by yourself doing nothing for ten minutes, ten minutes is unbearable long, give her those ten minutes then, you'll come up with the answer, promise.

Edited by fleamailman, 22 August 2006 - 06:38 AM.

[sari]

One biggy never express true feelings to women, womens minds work in starnge and mysterious ways and will find mens true feelings shocking and digsuting, unless you are some girly man and can think like they do but if you could do that you wouldnt be in the mess.

*sari rejects this advice.

One of the problems with relationships, friendship and otherwise, is that men won't express their feelings. I don't think it's necessary to be a "girly man", whatever that it - you just have to be willing to say what what you feel. In this case, you need to express remorse for what you did. I agree with Maiestas - a big show without sincerity will come across as meaningless. Think about what her friendship means to you, things you've done together that are important to your friendship. Small meaningful gestures mean more than big impersonal ones. Make your apology heartfelt.

If it helps, I speak from experience - I had a long-term relationship with someone who would neglect the important things, like our anniversary (went on trips with his friends every single year), but would go for big superficial things in front of his friends to try and make up for it. It was always meaningless, because it ignored what was really important.

[Johanna]

Well, Glad, how did it go? Did you apologize and make up? Or is she still ticked at you?

FWIW, a sincere apology beats gifts of diamonds and roses, and a willingness to admit you made a mistake shows a maturity girls/women find attractive.
Johanna

[TerryVortex]

Bright colorful flowers always worked for me. They are so cheerful, that reguardless they bring a smile and I would feel obligated then to read the card and at least respond to the note.

The bottom line is you have to decided.

If I were to advice I would say have someone neutral deliver flowers to her.
With a note, offering a sincere apology and an invitation to meet so that you can make the apology in person.

[SirKenin]

Well, I know what I would do, but seeing as how you asked for a woman's opinion, I asked my wife first. She says that above all, women want to hear that you were wrong and they were right (I can certainly vouch for this). You need to go up to her and apologize with a heart felt apology, and "bow down" so to speak asking for mercy and hope she gives it to you.

When I screw up I buy her roses or chocolate. I humble myself, I tell her what I did that was wrong, I tell her that I made a mistake and I ask for her forgiveness. The roses coupled with this approach work every time. There is something about a dozen long stem roses that makes a woman melt. lol. After that, give her TIME and SPACE. Wait for her to approach you. If you don't you will regret it.

You have to be careful with "gifts". It can easily seem like you are trying to buy her off, especially if you lack the humility and understanding that goes along with it.