[TerryVortex]

Good point, about the time and space.

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Let's watch the tone of the posts here, before more apologies are needed. Insults are not necessary.

[sari]

Let's watch the tone of the posts here, before more apologies are needed. Insults are not necessary.

[fleamailman]

A week has passed since you first posted, did you give her those ten minutes then, was ten munites long enough in your opinion, it is really hard to drop everything one is doing for ten minutes I know but it is your blindspot. If you look at babies you can soon tell if it is a baby boy or baby girl by the way the baby boy wants to explore and the girl wants to observe, of course this is only a generalisation but note how this continues through childhood into one teens where hopefully both sexes arrives at a point where both fuctions work fully. So if were 17 again I would advise myself to do two things seriously a) I would set ten minutes a day apart not to relax or daydream, surf the net, etc., but to work out what I am really thinking, and b) before I sleep at night I would turn over the day's conversations and events in my mind.

Anyway, wisdom is the end of youth, and tears are part of romance so perhaps I shouldn't make you old by this advice but you sounded in pain so...

Edited by fleamailman, 27 August 2006 - 08:47 AM.

[†Gladiator†]

hi thx for all the advice.
she sent me an email and we exchanged a few very long emails and I made a few promises so everything went perfectly. she forgave me for my dumb actions. now we are back to being good friends. I took the advice about sincereity and just reminded her of all the good times we had together and she was touched by my sincerety we worked it out.
I think we are closer than before because of the fight.
One thing i learnt, is that guys really need to sit down for 10 minutes and just think about what you have done and why she's mad. Cause the majority of the problems is that the guys think that it wasn't that big of a deal but they are apologizing just for the sake of making an apology without actually feeling sorry. Giving her some time to cool off is a very good idea too, because when ppl are angry they say things that they don't really mean to, and if you talk or argue in that state it just makes everything worse than they are. They best thing to do is just say sry and give her some time to cool down.

I am grateful for all the help that every 1 provided, and i think i am fortunate to have an understanding friend who forgave me. Now all i have to do is to get her a nice present......

[Johanna]

Wonderful to hear that you and her are okay again. I think you did it wisely, because you were honest. However, as a woman, I want to caution you and all the other young men about "giving her time to cool off". We women don't think that way. Now, we don't necessarily want you boys at our feet begging, but don't wait too long, because we get irritated when we think that we're not only angry, but being IGNORED. Email (which did not exist when I was your age) was a good "non-threatening" way to approach the issues- she could take her time to respond, but still had a note from you to re-read, proving you cared enough about her friendship to write. Good thinking, Glad! I'm not going to say a word about her gift, because you are obviously a young man with more maturity than most, and you will put thought into it, which is all that matters. Flash doesn't matter- it's the thought that counts. Good for you for being big enough to say "I was wrong." and good for her for saying, "That's okay, you're still my friend." Treasure those kinds of friends your whole life.

Johanna

[dsenette]

when it comes to women...always remember " when in doubt...buy chocolate"

One biggy never express true feelings to women, womens minds work in starnge and mysterious ways and will find mens true feelings shocking and digsuting, unless you are some girly man and can think like they do but if you could do that you wouldnt be in the mess.

just as a note here....the least "manly" of all men...are those who cannot effectively express their emotions and feelings to the ones they love, be that a male friend (i gave every one of my good friends a hug every morning at school...if that's "girly" or "gay"...sorry...but i loved them very much as my friends...and you never know when someone might die and they may never know how much they meant to you) or girl friends (not girlfriends...i hugged them too)...or your signifigant other (girlfriend, boyfriend...whatever)....men who are "too macho" to show their emotions and true feelings are cowards and in my book...no where near being a true mature man.

[†Gladiator†]

hehe yes she does like chocolate or more precisely chocolate cake. But i do agree with what you have said monkey. PPl should not be afraid of showing their emotions and feelings around others that they care about. Hmmm but the guys hugging thing... wouldn't work too well in high school. not a matter of macho... just a matter of survival.

[dsenette]

Hmmm but the guys hugging thing... wouldn't work too well in high school. not a matter of macho... just a matter of survival

easy sollution...break someone's collar bone in the principles office with the principle looking at you...people tend not to worry/care/make fun of you for/about what you do after that HAHAHAHA