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Joke of the Day


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#781
Chopin

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It is a real error message. I'm not sure if it's an Easter egg or actually used somewhere! :)
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#782
Octagonal

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A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name..
He replied, "She called Four Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean...

(scroll down)






























































NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!
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#783
Chopin

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I'm pretty sure this one is still within the bounds of PG13... :)

Papa is telling his son a bedtime story. “Once upon a time, there was a white bunny.”
“Aw, c’mon, Dad,” says the boy. “That’s kid stuff. What about some science fiction?”
“All right. Once upon a time, there was a bunny in outer space …”
“Dad! Make it more grown-up.”
“Okay, okay. Promise you won’t tell Mom.”
“I swear.”
“Okay, then... Once upon a time, there was a naked bunny …”
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#784
zorba the geek

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A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening
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#785
Chopin

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Hey! Don't insult the Polish; Chopin's Polish! :)

Seriously, though, that's pretty funny :)
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#786
zorba the geek

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Chopin was only 50% polish,his father was a Polonized Frenchman! :)

And Btw:I'm still waiting for the rest of the bedtime story :)
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#787
zorba the geek

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An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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#788
snowchick7669

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Got this in an email the other day :) I think they are all true stories

1) "Betty came home to find Jerry in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman."

2) "In a hospital ' s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Kenneth Roberts, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner."

3) "The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000..00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both."

Edited by snowchick7669, 01 September 2009 - 03:38 PM.

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#789
XxDarkSatoshixX

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why does 9 hate 7?
Answer: 7 ate 9 (7,8,9)
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#790
TheWhiteRose000

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Two men are walking down the street one walks into the bar the other man ducks.



A seal walks into a club.
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#791
zorba the geek

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Two men are walking down the street one walks into the bar the other man ducks.



A seal walks into a club.


I pride myself to have a great sense of humor,but this is NOT FUNNY !
It takes a sick mind to make jokes over cruelty to animals :)
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#792
TheWhiteRose000

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I just heard it a long time ago.
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#793
zorba the geek

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Humor about Drunk Irishmen
A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."




Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide optical fibre network.

Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 h years ago were an even more advanced civilisation, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.
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#794
Troy

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Where does the general keep his armies?





Up his sleevies!!!
:) :)

You know, I only just got this one sitting at breakfast this morning... :)
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#795
BHowett

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Where does the general keep his armies?





Up his sleevies!!!
:) :)

You know, I only just got this one sitting at breakfast this morning... :)


you mean you have been sitting around for 3 months wondering about that one :)
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