[Major Payne]

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Ron

[Advertisements]

Computer Problems:

1. Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?

Customer: Yeah....

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

[Major Payne]

Computer Problems:

1. Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?

Customer: Yeah....

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

[Major Payne]

2. Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

[Major Payne]

3. Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

[Major Payne]

4. Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

[Major Payne]

5. Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, d--n it!

[Major Payne]

6. Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

[Major Payne]

7. Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

[Major Payne]

8. Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

[sarahw]

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Ron

Bah,
People can come up with statistics to prove anything. 50% of all people know that.....

Edited by sarahw, 16 June 2007 - 02:44 AM.

[Major Payne]

9. Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore..

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

Edited by Major Payne, 16 June 2007 - 02:44 AM.

[Major Payne]

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Ron

Bah,
People can come up with statistics to prove anything. 50% of all people know that.....

Glad to see some one has a good sense of humor at this time of morning. Only 0.001% of people do.

10. Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Edited by Major Payne, 16 June 2007 - 02:47 AM.

[Major Payne]

11. Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

[Major Payne]

12. Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

[Major Payne]

13. Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.