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#916
Major Payne

Major Payne

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Wonder if that's how #10 came about? My sister just won $3000 last week at the casino. She does this often. Few months ago, it was $600+ one week and the same the following week. Don't know how she does it!

Ron
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#917
Troy

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Wonder if that's how #10 came about? My sister just won $3000 last week at the casino. She does this often. Few months ago, it was $600+ one week and the same the following week. Don't know how she does it!

As long as she doesn't do it the way this guy does it!!!!!!
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#918
Major Payne

Major Payne

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A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in: Alaska, California, Oklahoma, and TEXAS.

Our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington DC!!

Ron
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#919
Major Payne

Major Payne

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Hey. Something do here: Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
of one letter, and supply a new definition. I'll kick off with,

Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Ron
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#920
Troy

Troy

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*ruthandtroy wonders if admin's inbox is alright...
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#921
Major Payne

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Instructions for guys at the drive through ATM:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

Ron
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#922
Troy

Troy

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invective = insective, a malicious insect that hurls verbal abuse...
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#923
Troy

Troy

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Instructions for guys at the drive through ATM:


Funny, it works for girls too...
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#924
Major Payne

Major Payne

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Instructions for gals at the drive through ATM:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto the passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Take a quick peek at yourself in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.


Ron
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#925
Major Payne

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Good one ruthandtroy . Quick thinking. Admin is probably drying his Inbox out. Mine was burning up, too. I unsubscribed from this thread and I still get about 97 replies each time.

Ron
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#926
Troy

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Instructions for guys at the drive through ATM:


Funny, it works for girls too...


I suppose you could say I knew what was coming, just standing up for the ladies...

And I don't bother with the subscriptions, I just set it to "not tell me" (whatever that option is), and then when I login, I go to my control panel - view topics and there they are for me, my inbox is lovely and quiet...

Edited by ruthandtroy, 16 June 2007 - 09:23 PM.

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#927
Troy

Troy

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Or were you talking about this?

invective = insective, a malicious insect that hurls verbal abuse...


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#928
Major Payne

Major Payne

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I know, but I keep mine set to receive a reply automatically if I post to a thread. Just strange that I turned off the subscription to this theme only and still getting emails. No big deal, as I'm quick on the Delete key.

Kinda figured you knew what was coming after the first ATM post. The ladies here on GTG have a very good sense of humor and can kick back in kind when needed.

Ron

Edited by Major Payne, 16 June 2007 - 10:18 PM.

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#929
Major Payne

Major Payne

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Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Ron
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#930
Major Payne

Major Payne

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I watched the flag pass by one day,
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
And then he stood at ease.


Ron
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