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#1246
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
  • 5,307 posts
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
-- Lucille Ball (Uncommon Scold, 1989, by A. Adams)
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#1247
Major Payne

Major Payne

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  • Retired Staff
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.
-- Don Marquis (O Rare Don Marquis, 1962, by E Anthony)
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#1248
Major Payne

Major Payne

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I'm back... and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a cinema with the sign 'The Mummy Returns'.
-- Margaret Thatcher (on campaigning for Conservative William Hague, May 2001)
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#1249
Major Payne

Major Payne

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  • Retired Staff
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Whenever the talk turns to age, I say I am 49 plus VAT.
-- Lionel Blair (The Mail on Sunday, June 1999)
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#1250
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
-- George Burns
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#1251
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.
-- Max Frisch
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#1252
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas'.
-- Claude D. Pepper
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#1253
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.
-- Jonathan Swift
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#1254
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
-- Oscar Wilde
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#1255
Major Payne

Major Payne

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To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
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#1256
Major Payne

Major Payne

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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
-- George Burns
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#1257
BHowett

BHowett

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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
-- Billy Connoly


Thats funny.....kind of like when your standing in front of an elavator and you all ready pushed the button, and then other people show up see the light is on meaning the button has been pushed, but they push it again anyway. Like that going to get the elavator there any faster :whistling:
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#1258
Major Payne

Major Payne

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  • Retired Staff
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By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
-- George Burns
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#1259
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
-- Billy Connoly


Thats funny.....kind of like when your standing in front of an elavator and you all ready pushed the button, and then other people show up see the light is on meaning the button has been pushed, but they push it again anyway. Like that going to get the elavator there any faster :whistling:

Actually I've done that myself. The elevator doesn't arrive any sooner.

Ron
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#1260
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
-- George Burns
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