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#1396
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
  • 5,307 posts
It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
-- Richard Jeni
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#1397
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series.
-- Bob Hope
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#1398
Major Payne

Major Payne

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  • Retired Staff
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Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings ... and lawyers.
-- Richard Pryor
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#1399
Major Payne

Major Payne

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  • Retired Staff
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In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
-- Sam Ewing (June 1994, National Enquirer)
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#1400
Major Payne

Major Payne

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  • Retired Staff
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
-- Phyllis Diller
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#1401
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason
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#1402
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.
-- Mike Myers
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#1403
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.
-- Spike Milligan
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#1404
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
-- Max Kauffmann
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#1405
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-- Henry Youngman
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#1406
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.
-- Les Dawson
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#1407
Major Payne

Major Payne

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  • Retired Staff
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A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne
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#1408
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
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A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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#1409
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
  • 5,307 posts
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
-- Lord Byron
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#1410
Major Payne

Major Payne

    Retired Staff

  • Retired Staff
  • 5,307 posts
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
-- Joey Adams
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