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Pending fatherhood


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#1
Troy

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Yeah like the title says, my wife is 34.5 weeks pregnant (currently, and going on...), any ideas? I can't play AOE against it for quite a few years, but seriously, any advice or links anyone would like to point out? I'm more than happy to listen. I do have many friends and family for support, but I'm just interested in hearing anyone else's stories, advice or whatever.

Cheers :whistling:
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#2
dsenette

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go out and get as many large cardboard boxes as you can find now..that way you don't have to find them later...break them down and store them in the attic...you'll never have to buy one of those "fisher price play forts" or anything like that....just pull out the boxes and a roll of tape and the kid will leave you alone for hours
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#3
jaxisland

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Ahhh fatherhood. Bring a change of clothes for you to the hospital when she goes into labor, because your gonna crap yourself when you child is born :whistling:

Its truly amazing, but here is something I wish someone had told me, for the longest time its going to get frustrating because being a parent to a newborn is completely thankless. You get nothing back, you spend hours upon hours, calming them, rocking them, feeding them, and soothing them, and guess what you get nothing back from them, its like you dont even exist.
On the surface this may kinda seem obvious, but when its 3 am and they are acting like they have colic it really wears on your mind, but let me tell you this...Hold on, cause one day (6-8months later) you are going to go into their room, walk up to the crib and they are going to smile and know exactly who you are and my friend, there is no better feeling than that.

After that point you finally start to get some emotional response back and it makes everything worthwhile. So my advice is in the beginning just be patient and hold on, cause once they start that change, something new happens everyday. Now I have one son and hes going on 2 so I dont have years of experience to give you, but I do know where you are and what the next 2 years have in store for you.

Past what I said above, the parenting is easy, the biggest advice is have things done ahead of time. Anything you can prepare ahead of time will save you when its go time. I always had diaper, wipes, powder, and change of clothes on the changing table and all his bottles ready to go ahead of time. We had to use special formula cause he had stomach problems so if you and your wife have decided to take a more natural approach then that rules that out, plus saves money!!!!

Now the mother. This is going to be a great time for the both of you, but she is going to be going through something we cant understand. Just be there for her and shut your mouth. Put your crap aside and realize that there is something way bigger going on here and it should go easier. But dont confuse this with hiding your emotions, always be open and honest.

Well I hope this helps, this is my experience from my small corner of the world. Have a great time and congradulations.

PS- When you pack the suitcase to go to the hospital, remeber food for you, water, and crackers and light snack foods. The hospital I went to charged me $15 a meal.
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#4
Troy

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Yeah thanks, both excellent ideas. Unfortuantely dsenette, my tiny two-bedroom unit (or apartment if you must) does not have an attic. At the moment, we have one room as our bedroom and one room as the office (I run my own business), so where does the baby fit? Heh heh, apparently the office is leaving... But because I work at shopping centres, I have access to the recycling room which has a large cardboard box bin, I could grab what I want out of that anytime. Great idea, though, because we bought a baby car seat and I was playing with just the box for about 5 minutes, fun fun fun...

And to jaxisland, good idea about the change of clothes for me... Yep we got a nice big chest of drawers that we're making our change table, everything will be stacked on there ready to go at all times. Also your PS about the food has been thought already, Ruth made up a list to take to hospital, and she had snacks on it. I wrote on it "Sausages, sauce, and camping bbq set" like I was going to set up a mini-bbq in the wards... She was having fits of laughter, but as you know they can't laugh very well with such a huge baby cramping all their innards... It was pretty funny trying not to laugh at her. As for the rest of your advice, :whistling: thanks heaps is all I can say. I kind of knew it already, but just to hear it from someone else is awesome. Maybe in a few weeks I can post a photo...
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#5
jaxisland

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Well I went into this totally blind with no real help or advice so those are the things that stick in my mind. But first and foremost its going to be your familys time, and I mean you, your wife, and your child. Set boundaries and limits on when family members can visit, take the time and just enjoy the moment, because you wont have alot of alone time when you get home.

Congrads again!
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#6
Kat

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Just be there for her and shut your mouth. Put your crap aside and realize that there is something way bigger going on here and it should go easier.


Boy did you hit that nail on the head. :blink: Not necessarily shut up...but realize that afterwards...your wife is going to go through all those hormone changes again that she went through at the beginning of the pregnancy....in reverse....and MUCH faster! :whistling: If she says jump, ask "how high, sweetheart?" If you jump the wrong direction, apologize...even if SHE was the one who was wrong.

I promise, that part doesn't last long, nor is it often.

The best thing you can do during her labor is listen to HER needs. I don't care who told you to do what as her "partner". When the time comes, every woman is different in labor....and our needs are all different. If she wants her back rubbed...do it. If she doesn't want to be touched, don't try saying "But the coach said we should....".

Enjoy it. That's my best advice. It truly does go wayyyyyy too fast.
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#7
Troy

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Thanks Kat, I was hoping (when I saw you had posted in this thread) that you weren't going to tell me to search Google again... :whistling:

Yeah so far I know that I have to be there the whole time, she keeps telling me I'm going to be the only one there and she doesn't want anyone else. I'm not sure about labour going too fast, though, I'm sure she'd wish it was really quick...
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#8
anzenketh

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Just wanted to drop in a contrast Ruth.

Sorry not much advice here but Life Life and enjoy it. I can not give advice due to I don't even have significant other. Anyone have any relationship advice. Just Kidding.
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#9
bobmad

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Boy do I have advice....I'm full of it! (somehow that didn't sound right).

1) You and the wife, you are together because you want to be. Keep it that way. If you live for your kids and ignore eachother...what happens when the children leave the house? Date some, even if it's after the child (I say child because a baby DOES NOT SLEEP) is in bed and you just go "out" to your living room.

2) Relax and enjoy. This time IS short (may not seem like it at 3:30 AM when you're trying to comfort your baby). I have a 4 year old boy I swear was just "the other day" an infant. Now he's a boy. My 11 year old girl is so teen. I miss my babies, and if I'm not carefull I'll miss my 4 and 11 year olds soon...
Don't let me start on my 14 and 19 year old daughters....

3) You WILL mess it up and worry about how bad it was. Accept it. Deal with it and move on.

4) Never quit doing what you did by opening this thread. The WORST parents I've ever seen were 200% (or more) CONVINCED they knew what to do and how to do it in every case. Don't be sure. Let your mind look for better. Also realize that what works 1 time may not work the second time. if it works 999 times in a row it MAY NOT work on time 1000. Question what you do and why, at least enough to not be Rigidly locked into a style and M.O.
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#10
Kat

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ahhh my best BABY advice..... listen to your baby. DO NOT listen to the gramma, the inlaws, the lady down the street, and in some cases, not even the pediatrician. :blink: EVERY baby is different. They need new foods at different times. They need rocked or left alone at different stages. Let the baby be the guide. You'll know s/he is ready to move onto cereal when they cry for more shortly after a feeding. Whether that happens at two weeks (YES it really IS ok to give them cereal in the bottle that young)...or six months, the baby will let you know. It's GOOD to ask for and listen to advice from those of us who have been there. BUT, as long as love is your guide, go with your hearts and your gut instinct, and you'll be fine. :whistling:
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#11
don77

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Well I will save my advise for now when the little one hits their teens give me a shout,

As I told many a friends " life as you now know it will never be the same again "
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#12
sari

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*sari has a 15 year old that's free to the first person to ask
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#13
don77

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*don77 has a 17 year old match them up ? :whistling:
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#14
Kat

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Then you can be grandparents like ME! :whistling:
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#15
Troy

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Since when has this turned into a "give your children away" forum? If anyone doesn't want their children, goodness I WILL have them, I have lots of love for everyone. I believe everyone deserves the right to love and respect. 15 and 17 eh, I could use them at work, I currently employ 14 - 16 year olds, I have dealt with many good and bad in the past, and I've had teens with attitude problems and personal issues come back and thank me for trying to help them WAY after I fired them...

EDIT: I do understand you are (most probably) joking...

Edited by ruthandtroy, 16 July 2007 - 06:43 PM.

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