What I would really like, however, is for the batch file to actually go ahead and eject a specific media. Since my external hard drives always have the same drive letters, I feel like this should be possible.
Here's the text of the current batch file I'm using in case it helps. By the way, I know nothing about any of this programming.
echo SAFELY REMOVE
echo Starting Safely Remove
%windir%\system32\RunDll32.exe shell32.dll,Control_RunDLL hotplug.dll