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Best Computer Bash Quotes


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#1
Technogeek8

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Hey guys

I thought it would be cool to find out some of your favorite computer quotes. Things that you find amusing or funny in relations to computers, programming, windows, macs or anything in between. I'll start off with a few of my favorites

Computers are like air conditioners, they don't work when windows are open

The day microsoft makes something that doesn'ts suck is the day they make vaccum cleaners

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

Unix for stability. Macs for productivity. Windows for solitaire

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand

BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue

Managing programmers is like herding cats

FATAL ERROR! SYSTEM HALTED! — Press any key to do nothing...

and last but not least

hree things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred

I have a bunch more...I figured I'd start you off with a few. Let me know some of your favorites. Just something interesting to laugh at. K. See ya later

David
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#2
gerryf

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You know what is wrong with I.T. jargon?

Too many TLAs (three letter acronyms).
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#3
Technogeek8

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Thats pretty good

I'm sorta sad no one has really posted to this topic yet. I guess I just gotta give it some time. I like it though

David
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#4
Technogeek8

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Another few comp bash quotes

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong


Unix for stability. Macs for productivity. Windows for solitaire

The box said it Requires Windows XP or better. So I installed LINUX

Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot

And last but not least


Sometimes I think about going to the gym and working out in order to impress women, but hey, that's why I learned UNIX

David
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#5
fleamailman

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The three Rs of computers are "rent, rip, return"
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#6
Guest_jake6535_*

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"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." -Pablo Picasso.
"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity." -Dennis Ritchie.
The only secure computer is one that's unplugged, locked in a safe, and buried 20 feet under the ground in a secret location... and I'm not even too sure about that one" -Dennis Hughe
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson
"The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers." -Sydney Harris
--
"640k ought to be enough for anybody" -Bill Gates, 1981
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -Popular Mechanics, 1949
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#7
Major Payne

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"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them." Classic Quotes by Isaac
Asimov (1920-1992) American author, scientist.

Undocumented Windows Errors :

*WinErr: 01A Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry.

*WinErr: 01B Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that

*WinErr: 01C Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate.

*WinErr: 01D System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.

*WinErr: 01E Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.

*WinErr: 01F Reserved for future mistakes of our developers

*WinErr: 020 Error recording error codes - Remaining errors will be lost.

*WinErr: 042 Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos- box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again.

*WinErr: 079 Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.

*WinErr: 103 Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Next errors will not be displayed or recorded.

*WinErr: 678 This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

*WinErr: 683 Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure

*WinErr: 815 Insufficient Memory - Only 580,312,583 Bytes available

Hope these are in keeping with this topic.

Ron
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#8
Guest_jake6535_*

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i no i've seen that before.. but still just as funny! i think those were written back in the 3.1 days. Thats how it seems anyways.
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