OGdexter, on Feb 21 2010, 07:19 PM, said:
Ant is then rushed to the burn unit at UC Davis where he makes a miraculous recovery albeit with hideous disfiguring scars. He seeks help from a demented plastic surgeon who mistakes him for Pamela Anderson, and is subsequently crushed by the weight of poorly postioned D cup mammaries.
Luckily, the surgeon (being demented) had mistaken two balloons full of helium for two bags of silicone which were caught by the wind and whisked Ant up into the ionosphere, where a passing razor billed fussyplap (very rare since 1886) burst the balloons and Ant careered earthward before being snapped up by a hungry starling. Named Tarquin.