Kill the ant

Kill the ant Ant never dies!!

#16 Eclipsed

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 08:44 AM

That is a hard one to get out of...

Luckily, the power went out and the family, fearing the loss of their frozen goods, took the ice cream out to eat it. When they saw ant, they flicked him out the door onto the front walk.

While walking down the front walk, he fell into an enemy ants nest where he was pulled apart into three segments.

#17 Cruise475

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 12:53 PM

The ant, being the mutant ant he is, managed to pull himself back together and run for his life.

While he kept going and going, much like the energizer bunny, he someone ended up under the space shuttle as it was about to take off. As the engines ignited, he was burnt to a crisp.

#18 crooz

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 02:31 PM

Hence, the very first Crispy Critter!

Just as the legendary bird Phoenix, ant rose from his ashes to soar the Gulf of Mexico coastline till it finally reached Mexico and caught the swine flu. All the vaccines were used up so it parished.

But wait... they forgot to bury ant...

#19 Troy

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 08:54 PM

Mate this is one awesome ant!

You may continue...

#20 Eclipsed

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 09:24 PM

God took pity on this ant who had been through so much and reincarnated him as a business man for a better chance in life.

During the process, somehow ant was reincarnated as ant again and was promptly sucked in the intake of jet airplanes engine.

#21 jgrobs

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 11:00 PM

Sucked in, that is, right behind a migrating goose who caused the engine to seize.
The ant's life was saved by the goose, only to be lost in the crash.

#22 bigtrucks

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 08:39 PM

The jet airplane had crashed in the swamps and as the ant amazingly staggered out of the mutilated gooses....body
He was unaware that he was walking the same path as a gator who happened to be right behind him. STOMP! Went the gators claw right down on top of the ant.

#23 jgrobs

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 08:46 PM

Fortunately, swamps being swampy, Ant was just pushed into the mud.
After the gator passed, ant crawled out of the swamp, onto a road and, you guessed it, was run over by a big truck.

#24 bigtrucks

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 09:37 PM

That's right. He was run over top of as he was caught between the treads of that big rig riding for the long haul.
Unfortunately when the driver pulled off into a truck stop and stepped out, the ant staggering in circles trying to find its direction was stepped on by that same driver that gave him a free ride and mushed him into the ground, again!

#25 Strontium Dog

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Posted 12 February 2010 - 01:36 AM

.....Where the hot sun had baked the soil and caused it to crack. Ant luckily fell into one of the gigantic (to Ant) fissures.
He fell and fell for a long time until he landed in a world that time forgot.
Ant, having landed on the rim of a primeval volcano started to make his way down when the volcano erupted, spewing molten magma which started to race towards Ant, causing first degree burns.....

#26 jgrobs

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Posted 12 February 2010 - 01:46 AM

Which everyone knows are painful, but not fatal. Agonizingly, ant crawled back up to the surface where he would have lived a long ant life had the truck driver not tossed a lit cigarette into some spilled gasoline.

#27 OGdexter

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Posted 21 February 2010 - 01:19 PM

Ant is then rushed to the burn unit at UC Davis where he makes a miraculous recovery albeit with hideous disfiguring scars. He seeks help from a demented plastic surgeon who mistakes him for Pamela Anderson, and is subsequently crushed by the weight of poorly postioned D cup mammaries.

#28 Strontium Dog

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Posted 22 February 2010 - 04:34 PM

OGdexter, on Feb 21 2010, 07:19 PM, said:

LMFAO

Luckily, the surgeon (being demented) had mistaken two balloons full of helium for two bags of silicone which were caught by the wind and whisked Ant up into the ionosphere, where a passing razor billed fussyplap (very rare since 1886) burst the balloons and Ant careered earthward before being snapped up by a hungry starling. Named Tarquin.

#29 bigtrucks

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Posted 26 February 2010 - 11:00 PM

Knowing that Starlings favorite insects are beetles, the starling,so named Tarquin

spotted a nice big juicy beetle on the ground and dove for it. When it opened it's bill to snatch the beetle the ant fell out. Still plummeting toward the ground looking at certain death.

#30 Strontium Dog

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Posted 27 February 2010 - 02:18 PM

As Tarquin the starling (second name Darling) DIVED at breakneck speed, a whirlwind was created by the sheer velocity of his vertical plunge. Ant was catched up in the twister and deposited above the clouds in the land of the evil giant (of Beanstalk fame (or should that be infamy?)) where the giant, (being a nasty old S.O.B.) was chopping down the 3,000 year old olive trees that grew on his land. Ant landed on the bole of the very tree the giant was taking a swing at. The axe, being honed to a razor sharp edge, struck Ant square in the middle of his puny little body.

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