Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.