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Chuck Norris facts


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#16
Troy

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ROFL is a perfectly acceptable alternative to the way-overdone version... We even have an emoticon for it:

:)
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#17
Magnificent Exploding Head

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Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, Chuck Norris invented all the colors. Except pink; Tom cruise invented pink.

Braveheart challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. Chuck refused saying, "I don't fight girls in skirts. no matter how ugly they are."

Chuck Norris & Thor got in a fight. Now Chuck is smiting frost giants & Thor would like you to read his resume...Verily!

Chuck Norris challenged Wolverine. Wolverine said "You're on, bub! But first I gotta warn ya: I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do is...pee my pants."
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#18
daeemann

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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris doesn't run from tornados tornadoes run from him.
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#19
VladTz

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Chuck Norris doesn`t break hearts. He breaks legs. I have a T-shirt with that =)
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#20
Magnificent Exploding Head

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Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"
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#21
Magnificent Exploding Head

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There once was a man named Norris
They say he could benchpress a Taurus
So don't press your luck
And don't mess with Chuck
Or you'll end up in the Heavenly-Chorus
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#22
Magnificent Exploding Head

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Actually, dragosh01, it's a limerick. Glad you liked it.
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#23
Ibrad2010

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Chuck Norris does not breathe air, he holds it hostage.
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#24
Asasdasasd

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good athlets can swim through water chuck norris ccan swim through land

people sleep with a gun under his pillow chuck norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun
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#25
Kattales

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.com stands for ChuckNorris Owns Microsoft
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#26
hammed

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All I can say is this is one SWEET thread!

Edited by hammed, 30 September 2010 - 11:22 AM.

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#27
Magnificent Exploding Head

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In the 1930's two men were looking to make it big in comic books. They needed to create a new kind of hero; a "super" hero who would be a memorable & enduring character, and perhaps even become a cultural icon.
The writer came up with a great name for the hero & the artist designed a wonderful costume, but try as they might they just couldn't make the character work.
Should he have powers? What should they be? How did he gain them? What did he do when he wasn't out hero-ing? Did he have a day-job to pay the bills?
All these questions & more remained unanswerable for the two men.

Then one day a thought occured to the men.
"I know!" said the artist "Let's ask Chuck Norris what our hero should be like!"
"Yes! Yes!" agreed the writer "Chuck Norris will know what we should do!"

So they set off to find Chuck & ask him. Fortunately, at that time Chuck was living in Cleveland; the city where the two men also lived.
After listening carefully to their problem, Chuck told the men he would help them.
"Guys, while listening to you just now I have felt a new emotion, which I shall call 'pity'."
Needless to say they were astounded at seeing Chuck invent a brand new emotion right there on the spot.
"As a reward for helping me invent this, I will also help you invent your hero. I will let you use my life story as the basis for your character's story. But only on one condition; you can never let anyone know that it is my life story. My real origin would frighten ordinary people too much if they knew it was true."
"Anything you say, Mr. Norris." the men replied "What if we just change the name of the hero's alter-ego?"
"That's good enough." said Chuck, "We have a deal." And so he then told them the true story of his birth.
The men could hardly believe their ears & afterwards hurried back to their studio to work on their comic story.

And that's how Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster became the first, and only, men to see Chuck Norris feel pity.
Later, in June of 1938, their hero, Superman, debuted in Action Comics #1 with the alter-ego Clark Kent.

Edited by Magnificent Exploding Head, 30 September 2010 - 05:42 PM.

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