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Real Programmers do not . . .


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Gouverneur

Gouverneur

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The following was posted at a forum. It caused me to remember a series of one liners, which started with "Real men don't ..." or "Real whatever don't ... "

“if you notace i don't capitalise anything... its just the way i type.. i mean im not typeing a paper for college.. so i reely don't care about proper typeing im a programmer, not a typist... the only time i care about capitalise or spelling is if it affects my varable names or something like that... besides that i don't care... “

I started the following on a VB Programmer Site. The first 7 are mine. The rest came from others.

Real programmers don't know how to spell words which are not keywords in their favorite language. A smart human can decrypt misspelled words.

Real programmers do not document their code. If it was tuff for them to write, why should it be easy for anybody else to understand?

Real programmers don’t use 4 digit years. They use 5 digits, and are prepared for the year 10,000 & beyond.

Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any Real Programmers are around at 9:00 am, its because they were up all night.

Real programmers cannot do arithmetic. That is what computers are used for.

Real programmers use the most obscure esoteric techniques possible. It is more important to impress other programmers than to get the application working sooner.

Real programmers do not care about the real world. Programming is a goal in itself, not a means to an end.

Real VB programmers never say "It's Impossible", they just say that they haven't done it yet!

Real Programmers never make mistakes, they just point out that it hasn't been debugged yet!

Real Programmers have no use for managers. Managers are a necessary evil. They exist only to deal with personnel bozos, bean counters, senior planners, and other mental defectives.

Real Programmers don't believe in schedules. Planners make up schedules. Managers "firm up" schedules. Frightened coders strive to meet schedules. Real Programmers ignore schedules.

Real programmers don't test their code, that's what users are for.

Real game programmers write 1000 more lines of code if it makes the game 0.5 FPS faster on a computer that nobody uses any more.

Reel programmers dew knot say it can knot bee dun. Buy the weigh, I no that this is awl write because my spell checker says sew.

A programmer would miss his brother’s wedding to finish a program. A real programmer would miss his own wedding to finish a program.

Real programmers use 10 lines of code to do something that can be done in one, just because it looks more impressive.

Either that or use 1 line of code to do something they ought to use 10 for, just because it looks more complicated.

Real programmers use binary machine code. If it's good enough for the computer, it's good enough for them.

Real programmers don't make minor errors: They just say they are quirks of the system.

Real programmers don't distribute beta versions, they do not want to be confused with Microsoft.

Real programmers think Windows is lame.

Real programmers think all the natural food groups are covered by pizza and coke.

Real programmers don’t come to Internet Forums and discuss what real programmers do and don’t do.

Real Programmers don't read manuals. Reliance on a reference manual is the hallmark of the novice and the coward.

Real Programmers never write memos on paper. They send memos via computer mail networks.

Real programmers don't have time for "normal" friends

If I related to about 80% of those, does that mean I can call myself a real programmer yet? God, help me.....
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