[Ryan]

First off, I'd like to start by stating that I'm only 19, so I am still kinda young myself. However, if I'm seeing this, then certainly people older than myself with more experience and knowledge will be as well.

I was browsing the forums of another site, the name of which will remain a secret* to protect all involved. It is a family friendly site however.

I have been to this site before, but have never seen anything like this before. One of the threads was named "What should I do" or something like that...I read the thread earlier in the day and have forgotten the title.

The poster seems to be a lot like me personality wise from what he posted; he doesn't like to hurt people (mentally, emotionally, or physically) and will wait a while before asking somebody out due to fear of rejection.

In it, this guy talked about how he is currently "going out" with this girl who had cut her wrists previously, before they started to go out. He continues to talk about how he "likes" his current "girlfriend" 's friend. He then asked for advice on what to do.

Later in the thread, someone replied with "why don't you try a #some". The Original Poster then said he was 13 and had already thought about trying that.


Now that I'm done with the story background, onto my commentary.

It is my belief that today's children (anyone from birth until college in my eyes) are growing up way too quickly. I worked theater tech for my town's middle school plays, and I've heard some of the older students (8th, maybe 7th graders) talk about who they did what with and who they think is hot/cute/sexy...what have you. There are fifth graders lying on top of each other during rehearsal, mixed groups going off during breaks, maybe just about anything you could think of.

I'm seeing them grow up in a lot more ways than just that. I was off campus at a restaurant the other day, and this kid, couldn't have been more than 13, kept getting up from his table to talk on the phone. It wasn't his parent's phone, as he pulled it out of his pocket and mommy and daddy never asked for it back. I didn't have a cell phone until I was driving and had a job, and was able to pay for it myself. What did this kid need a cell phone for? At 13, there are very few, if none, places to get a job, and it's not like he had a car. Most likely his parents knew he was either at school, at home, or at a friend’s house, and they knew where he was every minute of everyday. In places where there are plenty of phones for him to call from if he needed to get in touch with them.

Thirdly, what is with today's children's TV programming. I can't stand any of the shows my 7 year old sister watches because I can see the innuendo and stuff that I don't believe she should be exposed to. Even the animated shows are getting bad. Today’s programming always has on at least one show where there is sexual innuendo, suggestive dialogue, or coarse language. If you don't believe me and live in the US, go to either USA or TNT. While parents are ultimately reasonable for what their children are watching, they cannot be with them every minute of every day until the child turns 18 and goes off to college or moves out of the house.

So now that I've voiced my opinion in this long post (page and then some in Word), feel free to reply and tell me (and the world) what you think about this topic.

-Ryan

*Mods and Admins: If you want to read the post that prompted this, feel free to PM me for it. Also feel free to edit parts of this if they fall outside of family-friendly.

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(8th, maybe 7th graders) talk about who they did what with and who they think is hot/cute/sexy

Well, its kinda fun when you get to disscuss it...I mean why not...its just natural (Belive me, I'm 13)

There are fifth graders lying on top of each other during rehearsa

Thats just weird..I could imagine 8th graders doing it, but 5th?

I have a cell phone.. (Got it for my birthday)...I use it alot...luckly, my best friend is on Verizon as well, so I get free calls...in all, I've used up 25 hours of calls in 3 months....

Today’s programming always has on at least one show where there is sexual innuendo, suggestive dialogue, or coarse language.

I have three letters: MTV....you should see that...I started watching MTV in 6th grade...
As for animated shows, probably spongebob, and such...good shows, but dumb....


Danny

[Danny]

(8th, maybe 7th graders) talk about who they did what with and who they think is hot/cute/sexy

Well, its kinda fun when you get to disscuss it...I mean why not...its just natural (Belive me, I'm 13)

There are fifth graders lying on top of each other during rehearsa

Thats just weird..I could imagine 8th graders doing it, but 5th?

I have a cell phone.. (Got it for my birthday)...I use it alot...luckly, my best friend is on Verizon as well, so I get free calls...in all, I've used up 25 hours of calls in 3 months....

Today’s programming always has on at least one show where there is sexual innuendo, suggestive dialogue, or coarse language.

I have three letters: MTV....you should see that...I started watching MTV in 6th grade...
As for animated shows, probably spongebob, and such...good shows, but dumb....


Danny

[flowergirl]

I agree that TV has waaaaaaaaaaay to much sexy innuendo.

AND have you ever stopped to think that in our living rooms we
have MURDERS happening practically every single night?

On kids growing up too fast, if I worked in middle school, I could give
you more of an accurate answer.

If I go by my 13 year old granddaughter, Sarah, she is still very innocent and sweet.
She does not have a boyfriend (her parents would in no way let her date til
much older).....She still likes to play with her nieces and is just, how can
I say this, untouched by the ways of the world.

I didn't even know a lot of things when I got married.
I was taught in my church and by my parents to 'wait' to 'sleep' with a boy
until after I was married.....And I did wait and it was worth the wait.
I think many kids STILL have these same values.

TV was different in the sixties...people didn't even sleep in the same bed such
as in I LOVE LUCY. My oh my, compared to today. Ooh laa laa.

So, rmurpy, what is the answer to the dilemma of kids 'growing up too fast' and knowing
too much?

P.S. I see Danny posted...it is good to get feedback from young men in their early teens.

[warriorscot]

yes

[dsenette]

i don't know if the problem is that children are growing up too fast...as that is just a product of our times...with the speed at which the world is growing (technologically and otherwise) it's almost impossible to slow down the juggernaut....i think the real issue is that the amount of real world type education that these kids are getting from their parrents is inversly proportionate to the amount of knowledge they have access to..

it's just like anything we do here....giving someone a tool but not teaching them how to use it is as deadly as just giving them a gun...children aren't taught the true meaning of right and wrong...and...because i said so isn't good enough anymore....

i'm only 23, but...when i was growing up i never would have thought of acting like children i see today...talking back to their parents the way they do...doing drugs at 12....having babies at the same age....it's all about education...

alot of parents assume that the tv or internet will teach their kids since they don't have time to do it...and that's just stupid

[M4_Fanatic]

i agree.

[fleamailman]

I am just judging from the people who come into this shop here but one might wonders if children are growing up too fast but one sees that the others aren't growing fast enough: anybody ever feel that we are drowing in new technology then?

[warriorscot]

People teach children right and wrong, but they dont teach why they should behave properly they have no notion of manners or honour. When you think about it having an extended childhood into the teens is a relativley recent thing, 100 years ago you were a man at 14, before that you could serve on a warship at 6 or 7, you could smoke drink and be married with kids on the way by 16. Yet now you are restricted on what you can do until you are 16 and you dont become completely free of age restrictions till 18 so technically we are taking to long to grow up in comparison with our history.

[jacobusmatthew]

what frustrates me are the spoiled kids who have no idea they are spoiled and on top of it rub in there face...

im 16 and got a job this year ...its so fun to go up to spoiled kids and rub it in there face that i have more money than them, and there spoiled....

being spoiled not only affects how you manage your funds, it also in some ways affects what all of you have been talking about

from what ive seen, rich kids drink, do drugs, have sex, dont respect there parents

i agree with dsenette in that kids arent growing up faster, its that they are being exposed to many things earlier than previous generations......one of the major problems with this is they dont have proper parental guidance.....i realize im not speaking out of wisdom, as i am still a kid myself, but out of common sense. I see these other kids act the way they do and it frustrates me that they dont know what they are saying or doing. Im not saying parents need to filter media and have "talks" with there kids. I just think they need to enforce some rules....the other day i was sitting in class and a girl in front of me takes my phone and reads my text messages. one of them say...I walked the dogs, and did the dishes may i go to a friends......and she made fun of me...the 1st reason was because i used may instead of can...What the...!!!! and the other was because i had to ask to go to a friends, and i had chores!!! i mean kids have no responsiblities, im not sayin i got it rough. I go days without having chores, but i mean some kids literally have no responsibility... or sense of wrong.

My friends dad drove 2 hours to pick him up but my friend didnt want to go to his house...His dad was angry and my friend said the reason was because he wanted to hang out with me...i mean dude im here all the time go with your dad...he says nah and his dad drives 2 hours back home...and my friend didnt have a bit of remorse or guilt or anything he just justified himself by saying his sister was supposed to tell him that he didnt want to go

thats my rant!!!

Matt

[Michael]

I don't think it is growing up to fast, it is more they grow up immaturely. They try to act, dress, talk etc. like adults in a very immature way, at a too young an age. They act in a way that I would never get away with acting.

she made fun of me...the 1st reason was because i used may instead of can...What the...!!!! and the other was because i had to ask to go to a friends, and i had chores!!!

I wonder what would be said about me? Not that I care, I don't care what anyone thinks of me, and I don't try to do anything to change what they think, maybe the reason that I have so few friends.

And I am not trying to blame the kids for it either, the parents have got control over what they kids do, and see. Parents can't be there all the time to make sure the kids don't watch bad things, but they can teach then that it is bad and that they should not watch it. The parents can also teach discipline, and obedience. Mine have! A so the same goes for bat swearing, parents must teach their children not to swear. I can easily say that I have never sweard because I have been taught that it is wrong.

Well that is the opinion of a 15 year old.

[Kat]

I am seriously impressed here. To see so many younger people realizing what the problems are is great, honestly.

As a mom, I have to agree 100% that most of the problem lies with the parents. Maybe mom is single and struggling financially..so works two jobs, leaving the kids home alone. Maybe Dad is a drunk, and the kids are allowed to run wild. Maybe the parents just don't give a crap what their kids are doing. Maybe they are afraid to discipline, b/c in todays society..you aren't even allowed to spank your kids.

Parents need to take charge. They need to know who, what, where, when and WHY. I know where my girls are at all times. I talk to them. I question them. I impose rules, and follow through if they are broken. Are my girls perfect? Heck no they aren't. But they are respectful of others. They have manners. They don't drink or do drugs. They both have straight A's in school.

I had a drunk for a father, and a mother who was too lazy to care what we did. I had my oldest child when I was 17. I also drank from the time I was 13, and experimented with drugs.

Do we see a pattern here, folks? Kids need guidance. They need rules. They need parents who give a crap about them. They need discipline. They need LOVE.

[flowergirl]

As Kat wrote, I also am impressed by the depth of the young men's responses
in this thread.

I had read Michael's post just before going to bed and I kept thinking about it.

The part about his friend's Dad driving 2 hours to pick up his son and 2 hours back
and the son not giving a hoot about his father giving up 4 hours of his time, his
embaressment of his son not going with him plus the price of gas.

I can tell Michael is a considerate and mature young man...the other boy acted CHILDISH.

I think if parents and kids would just treat one another with the same RESPECT that they give to
their friends (or even to complete strangers) then everyone would get along a lot better.

Sincerely, Janie

Edited by flowergirl, 01 November 2005 - 08:29 AM.

[warriorscot]

Im still a young guy myself but i am a flight sergeant at the local cadet group when i have the time, and these are generally good pro active kids they came down themselves and they wanted to do the whole cadet thing which is great. But they have no notion of what real discipline is like and no concept of why they should respect A authority and B their elders, they do things without thinking and then dont realise why it was wrong.

I dont agree with the statement about people being spoiled making them like that, the ones that arent spoiled go off the tracks alot quicker and worse and end up in the borstel if they are lucky as a rule around here; although your definition of spoiled affects this, whereas the spoiled ones that i sometimes hung out with were all inteligent and could be well behaved and respectful they just liked the stupid pranks to much, although i live in what a pretty industrial area there aint many of the yuppy folk went to my school. Most people i went to school with that had reasonably well off parents including myself were from working class backgrounds and if you were cheeky you got your [bleep] quite literaly kicked up the stairs and into your room. Even when i went to see a couple of private schools to see if i liked them they were all totally spoiled but they were well behaved and respectful(mostly because they went to a very small strict school, i noticed the larger more "modern" private school pupils werent as well behaved).

I think that parents treating their kids with to much "respect" can be part of the problem, they are children they dont know how to behave you have to teach them and if you treat them like adults they will never learn properly, i would never dream of talking to people older than me like some kids do nowadays they have never been taught that ehy should treat certain people with deference and more respect, i have actually clipped a couple of cadets round the back of the ear for talking to people like ww2 vets and officers like they were their peers, they didnt realise what they did was wrong it was pretty shocking and i was more than a little annoyed not just at them but at their parents who hadnt taught their children how to behave.

I dont know where all the you cant smack children comes from, since the dawn of civilisation its been accepted as the best way to discipline a child. And it works you dont even have to do it alot its the threat and they take that intense dislike of it into the future and associate disrespect and disobededience for the rest of their lives and it shows in the way you behave, they also take to discipline and learn alot faster as they arent as scatter minded as children who havent been"smacked". When it all started out the you shouldnt smack your child thing was pretty much laughed out the door, but it seems to have latched on with the whole politically correct movement and its now "wrong" to discipline a child in the not only traditional but ancient way.

Edited by warriorscot, 01 November 2005 - 09:13 AM.

[dsenette]

I dont know where all the you cant smack children comes from, since the dawn of civilisation its been accepted as the best way to discipline a child

in the united states, raising your voice too often with a child is concidered abuse.