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Stun gun


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#1
dsenette

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Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary.



Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was



a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!



Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded

two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing!



I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn

spot is on the face of her microwave.



Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that

it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,. right?!!!



There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
(trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.



I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I

was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?



So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one

hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.



All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"



What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....



I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION @#$%^&*&$#



I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"



Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you

zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged

from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.



SON-OF-A-.. that hurt like [bleep]!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits
(what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.



Still in shock,

Tommy


for future reference..i have done this myself...and...it's not fun at all....though....very funny once the numbness stops
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#2
warriorscot

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LMAO, still laughing thats a good one, lol, have to try that some time when appropriatley intoxicated.
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#3
admin

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Remind me to NEVER drink with you guys! :tazz:
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#4
Murray S.

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:tazz: The local constabulary put on a taser training session for their members and the RCMP using one of the FD's training rooms.. Guess they decided they should know what it feels like to get "zapped" by it..

Needless to say, I spent a good two hours laughing hysterically at a scene almost like what dsennette posted!!

Murray
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#5
Jayzeee

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Remind me to NEVER drink with you guys! :)

:tazz: me too :)

Never been at the receiving end of a taser, and hopefully never will be...
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#6
LthrnckPA

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I used to work in a maximum security Federal prison and we transported the more dangerous inmates with a shock belt strapped on them. Only the Lieutenant was allowed to carry the "trigger". And we had to get a taste of what we would be inflicting on the inmate. I agree with dsenette, this is NOT fun ( when it's you). But you laugh like crazy at everyone else!
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#7
warriorscot

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Ild rather ne tazered than CS gased, was reading the paper the otherday some kid got CSed by the police for whatever reason and his face has fallen off he has huge bright orange waxy pustules all across his face. Definately rather be tazered i think.
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#8
LthrnckPA

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Taser vs CS gas ..... Hit me with CS gas ANY day over that darned taser. Had both. In fact, as a Disturbance Control Team leader I get CS'd several times a year. I can at elast function and fight with a face full of CS. You can't do anything but "sizzle and flop" while that taser is juiding you up, and for a while afterward too. We call it "frying bacon".
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#9
admin

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We call it "frying bacon"

:tazz:

Must be the mental picture, but I find that incredibly funny! :)
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#10
LthrnckPA

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It really is ,,,,, until it's your turn.
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#11
Octagonal

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:tazz: What a great read. :)

It reminds me of when I was young and just had to hang on to the electric fence to see if it really gave a kick.
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#12
ScHwErV

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As for CS, Ive had the CS multiple times while in the Army. I would much rather have the CS. While it may make everything on your body burn and you will lose control of the saliva, sweat, and tear glands, at least it doesnt leave you on the floor "like bacon" :)

ScHwErV :tazz:
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#13
dsenette

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personally...i'd prefer the tazer over any kind of chemical deterant....peperspray is rather sticky....and stays with you for a while...tazer...it's done in a few seconds....i've always been a bigger fan of electrocution over getting anything in my eyes.
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#14
warriorscot

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Yeah, i think the tazer would be better, effects are less severe and more temporary, they really should put in big letter in the side if CS gas canisters, MAY CAUSE FACIAL DISINTEGRATION.
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#15
admin

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Yours for only $15.99 :tazz:
http://www.surplusco...l&item=CES10896

This small, compact Security Plus® stun device delivers 100,000 volts of stupefying energy. More than enough to knock an assailant off balance and senseless... It is non-lethal and causes no lasting, harmful effects.


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