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in a dilly of a pickel

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okay firstly im posting here because this is the only forum im on where i dont know anyone personally, so theres no chance of this message getting to anyone i know and from there going to the people the message is about.

secondly ive changed the names of all people in this story, except my own name (ben)

since kindergarten ive had a friend, nathan, weve been best friends, like brothers, since then, thats close to 16 or 17 years, he has a younger sister, jenny, who is now about 14 and who is like a sister to me. throughout the years she has always seemed a bit unusual to me,

anyway recently another family friend, joan (sorry im bad at making up names), has had a very serious relationship with a guy named michael, who is a very good doctor, since ive met him ive seen him for a few problems ive had and hes always been professional, hes also a very nice guy and everyone gets along well with him.

now when he first met nathans family and his sister jenny he realized she had a very mild form of autism,

this man is a very good doctor, so im prepared to accept his word for it, also from the one year of psych i took and the very little knowledge i have of autism (emphasis on the word little, i practically know nothing) it does fit in with her, since ive heard this ive replayed the last 14 years in my head, and many of the thinks shes said and done do fit in,

he spoke to joan about it and then joan contacted my family and so far we're the only ones who know because we are closest to them. now the problem is they are a VERY proud family, and the sad fact is they would never accept it if someone told them, they wold take it as a major offense toward their own family and would never speak to the person who told them again, this is not an overexageration, i have known them long enough to know their reaction to news like this, they would never accept it.

now, were bob a responsible doctor he would tell them himself, that is after all a doctors job, he todl us that if they asked him about it, he would be honest to them, or if they took her to him for a check up he would tell thme, he also said when they know and accept it he will offer his full help, untill any of the above happens he does not want to do anything, at first he did actually want to help, but joan talked him out of,

Its been on all our minds alot, we all know we have to tell them but we keep putting it off, this morning i saw an episode of scrubs (epp 418, my roomates) in which dr cox was in a very similar situation, actually the exact same situation, and os i havent been able to get it out of my head since

so now im completely commited to finding a way to tell them, even if it means they wont speak to me again, i just want to ensure she gets the help she needs, because ultimately thats what is important, , but if i flat out tell them and they dont accept it, it would do me no good.

so, can anyone suggest something to me? or if anyone can suggest something i can do to help her without her parents realizing, also any additional info on autism would help alot.


Edited by BTPH, 20 February 2006 - 05:20 AM.

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    Je suis Napoléon!

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they should be told by a proffessional...not someone who has heard from a proffessional....that said it would be best for the doctor to tell them...it would have to be done in a very non-confrontational manner....and in as proffessional of a setting as possible...but...no matter what the cost...they must be at least told of the suspicion....autism is not good...even children with mild autism have social and learning problems that can only be over come with proper treatment...which can only be attained after accepting/knowing that the child has autism
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