[jaxisland]

the article is a display of numerical data aquired through research that shows a patern observed among today's youth...it's not an article about the failure of parents in modern society or anything of that nature....just the representation of a (justifiably) alarming trend

Correct. But I believe that if parents played a more active role than the numbers will be different in a better way. This article to me is just another way of showing what the root issue is, and that is parenting.

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dsenette, about spot-on. My original post is about the hyped analysis of the numbers and the obvious absense of data that could have been collected.

[TaterState]

dsenette, about spot-on. My original post is about the hyped analysis of the numbers and the obvious absense of data that could have been collected.

[dsenette]

and the obvious absense of data that could have been collected.

well....absense of data that you would have liked to have seen.....

[MxGirL737]

I think the larger picture here is the absence of "good" parenting. True caring parents would be aware of any conversations their children have on the internet and intercept it before they had a chance to even try and meet. No my son will not meet people he does not know on the internet, period.
In todays world their is a majority or parents who just dont care, now I know this is a tough concept because everything I have read from people here seem like they have a good handle on their kids. BUT alot of people out there dont spend the time.
I have spent alot of time working in middle to high end homes, doing painting and window fashions as a side job to help out family. All I see is detached parents with nannies that are watching their children and I mean up to 15 yrs old, just to make sure they dont blow something up.
But that doesnt stop them from using the internet to do what they please, becuase they all have tvs, radios, cd players, dvd players, computers, and laptops in their rooms.
Now if your an adult and meet someone than thats your right and I wont impose on it, but as a child meeting someone, that responsibility lays solely with the parents and their failure to do whats right.
This subject is frustrating to me because I feel like so many kids could be spared a life of terrible things if they just had parents who cared, paid attention, and said NO instead of giving in to their kids.

Kids are kids and will try things that they think is ok, but for cryin out loud, the parents should be jailed and the kids put somewhere where they will be protected.

my parents were super caring, almost too much. always looking over my back. I'd just hide it, or they'd put a password on to keep me off, and I'd figure it out, or figure out a different way to get the internet. It wasn't a matter of them not trying to know...believe me, they tried. My friends and I would just do it behind their backs...thinking we knew more. I'm 22 now, and definitely realize how lucky I was at 15 and 16 or whatever.

[frantique]

the article is a display of numerical data aquired through research that shows a patern observed among today's youth...it's not an article about the failure of parents in modern society or anything of that nature....just the representation of a (justifiably) alarming trend

Correct. But I believe that if parents played a more active role than the numbers will be different in a better way. This article to me is just another way of showing what the root issue is, and that is parenting.

I don't agree. As MxGirL737 has said, it is impossible, as a parent to watch everything your teenager does 24/7. I also think it is wrong. Sure, be aware always of what they're doing and where they're going, but they need their own space. Instilling values into them from an early age and correcting them and teaching them to self correct, I believe, is the way to go.

Edited by frantique, 10 September 2007 - 03:27 PM.

[zorba the geek]

My son grew up in South Africa and how easy it was to teach him good values!But then the church,the goverment ,the school & society took great care in banning anything related to improper behavior to an extrem!TOTAL BLACKOUT OF ANY BAD INFLUENCE!Comming to greece was a mayor morality shock for all of us!Now being a grand-dad i'm scared senceless for the wellbeing of my grandkids!We all got the right values,and i'm sure we will try our best to teach the kids.My 4year old g/son already lobbs his (play)labtop where ever he goes,if somebody later on resticks his internetaccess-he will just go to the local internetcafe!You cant be after them 24/7!Oh i love my grandkids to bits,but without outside help(society)it is very difficult to bring&keep children on the right track when morality is falling apart around us!

[ScHwErV]

This may belong in another thread, and sari may feel free to split it if she feels that it is appropriate, but I agree with TaterSalad (Ron White reference, its funny if you've seen the show (The monkey will get it)).

Often times when dealing with children and the perception of whats right/wrong or good/bad for children, it seems that many "experts" use incomplete, irrelevant, biased, or "hyped" statistics to get their "study" noticed.

I am not saying that whats in this study is wrong (in my own opinion and not based on any studies I have performed), however the research is not complete and was gathered in such a way that the study is actually biased.

Much the same way with a lot of brain research out there right now. The "Brain Experts" have said that you should not allow your child to watch TV until the age of 2 because it inhibits brain growth and causes kids to have lower scores in school and causes them to be socially withdrawn. They say this because they took a poll and those parents who didn't let their kids watch TV had good kids, the ones who did let them watch TV had kids with problems in school.

I draw a different conclusion. I believe that the parents who used the TV as a babysitter and sat their kid in front of the box for hours a day just plain weren't good parents and thats why the kid had problems. Not TV, parents.

Those parents who took the time to spend time with their kids rather than sit them in front of the TV had children who turned out good. Not because they had a lack of TV, but because they had involved parents. Many times these parents properly socialized the children, read to them, talked to them, and involved them in family.

To blame it on TV is ridiculous.

[don77]

I have to agree with ScHwErV here and it may be OT but oh well

Correct. But I believe that if parents played a more active role than the numbers will be different in a better way. This article to me is just another way of showing what the root issue is, and that is parenting.

If you are one you know its not an easy job. some don't have the luxury of one parent to be home all the time and constantly monitor what a child is doing.

but without outside help(society)it is very difficult to bring&keep children on the right track when morality is falling apart around us!

A very valid point

[TaterState]

RARELY DO I HEAR OR READ THESE WORDS . . .

I agree with TaterSalad

Thank you! Okay, back to reality . . .

The changing social fabric introduces new threats to our children, ergo new responsibilities on us as parents.
I'm not "shocked" by the results of the study because I don't know the parameters. I am aware however, that children are having more and more of these encounters which increases their exposure to these risk. Parental involvement? YES. 24/7? not even possible.

My male TaterTot, 18y/o, just had such an encounter in July/August 07. He met a guy on the internet from Leiden, Holland who shared a passion for a particular music style TaterTot produces. This led to the guy coming to the U.S. for the first time, a 21-day trip, TaterTot to be the tour guide. TaterMate and I were CAUTIOUS TO THE EXTREME!! and actually thought - and knew - the worst could happen. TaterTot was quite naive to the risks but we insisted he take precautions. We had more than a few heated disagreements over this and I even threatened to french-fry his hiney if he didn't listen! Long story short, The visit was absolutely awesome, and TaterMate and I have a new Tot in Leiden. He calls us his American parents. We are going to visit his family in 2009.

If the same thing were to happen again, TaterMate and I would be every bit as cautious as the first time!

[Matt L]

This proves that students in schools around the world need more schooling and education regarding the web at school to prevent incidents such as these which as we seen in the past can lead to serious harm to children.
James

I don't think that's the problem. When I was in eighth grade, my school brought in countless visitors warning us of internet predators, and all my classmates just shrugged and laughed it off as if it was just a joke showing how useless that kind of thing is.

It's harsh, but I think the only way to straighten this out is if people learn the hard way.

[james_8970]

This proves that students in schools around the world need more schooling and education regarding the web at school to prevent incidents such as these which as we seen in the past can lead to serious harm to children.
James

I don't think that's the problem. When I was in eighth grade, my school brought in countless visitors warning us of internet predators, and all my classmates just shrugged and laughed it off as if it was just a joke showing how useless that kind of thing is.

It's harsh, but I think the only way to straighten this out is if people learn the hard way.

Different regions will address an issue differently, the only thing my elementary/middle/high school educated us about things to do with our life was narcotics, the internet was never brought up. Just graduated this summer to the internet was around for a while when I was in school. It's a major issue I believe should have been addressed.

In one respect your right though, society as a whole needs to open their eyes to the monsters outside our walls. These speeches are given with a message in mind, however many react with laughter and denial that such an incident would ever occur to them. I completely agree most people never learn till it hits home, and when it hits them, it hits them hard.
James

Edited by james_8970, 15 September 2007 - 06:18 PM.

[Large]

Very interesting topic; I did not know these things were discussed here.

I will just quickly add my opinion:

As father of 2 boys, one new baby on the way, I will go through this issue, most likely.

I can only hope for their best, and do my best. We'll see what happens with those two combined. I am teaching them, while young, to be aware of the fact that mom and dad are safe. Then we'll go from there.

I will allow my kids on the internet, and will likely share their interests, as I am interested in most things. Mom does too, I imagine she will be involved; hopefully displaying this attidue will have them not minding our involvement. You must keep an eye on things in the internet world. If they start planning to meet people, I will go with them, or not let them go at all. If my kids are at a young age, I will get the phone number of the person, and invite them over to the house. My house is pretty well secure, once across the threshold, and things should go smoothly. If fights arise between myself, wife and kids, then we will have to come to another safe agreement; but all parties have to remain comfortable on what is to happen, and something that feels intuitively unsafe to parents should not happen. Parents may hold the power there, it is their right to look out for things, being more experienced. The child will understand one day, if they do not at the time . . .

Edited by Large, 23 September 2007 - 11:29 PM.

[hfcg]

The changing social fabric introduces new threats to our children, ergo new responsibilities on us as parents.
I'm not "shocked" by the results of the study because I don't know the parameters. I am aware however, that children are having more and more of these encounters which increases their exposure to these risk. Parental involvement? YES. 24/7? not even possible.

My parents taught me to look both ways before crossing a street and now, decades later, I look both ways. Why do I look both ways?
You can not control what your children do 24/7 but you can teach them safe habits. If a middle age person presents themself as a teenager online there is a problem! If any thing is not as it was implyed then there is a problem and what is a grown person doing trying to hang out with kids anyways?
If a grown man where to try to meet my teenage daughter some where I will have no problem facing the legal problems for my actions!