[rev_olie]

Just wondering if anyone had seen Not Always right?.

Its full of crazy customer quotes and stories of people dealing with customers and how some of them dont really have a clue

Computer Repair and Computer Shop always offer some relief.

And as crazy as they sound they are all true. For example this gem of a call center call:

Centre: “9-1-1, police fire or ambulance?”
Customer: “Police.”
Centre: “What’s your emergency?”
Customer: “Is it illegal for a 14 year old to be drinking Jack Daniels?”
Centre: “Yes, it is.”
Customer: “Oh, okay. And, one more question. Is it illegal for a 14 year old to be smoking drugs?”
Centre: “Yes, it is, ma’am.”
Customer: “Oh, okay. My son told me it wasn’t. I’d like you to arrest my son please. He’s been doing this for a couple of years now!”

The woman was later tracked and warned by the police...and so was her son.
Made a bad day funny. But nothings offensive so it fits the G2G bill

Edited by rev_olie, 03 September 2009 - 05:25 AM.

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Haha I like this one



(A customer comes up to our customer service desk complaining about music playing in our store.)

Customer: “I want you to take that last song off the speakers.”

Me: “Umm, ‘Don’t Upset The Rhythm’? Is that the one?”

Customer: “The one that goes ‘Go Baby Go Baby Go’?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “Yes, take it off. It’s pressuring me to hurry my shopping!”

[snowchick7669]

Haha I like this one



(A customer comes up to our customer service desk complaining about music playing in our store.)

Customer: “I want you to take that last song off the speakers.”

Me: “Umm, ‘Don’t Upset The Rhythm’? Is that the one?”

Customer: “The one that goes ‘Go Baby Go Baby Go’?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “Yes, take it off. It’s pressuring me to hurry my shopping!”

[rev_olie]

This one made me laugh. Kind of fits in with your other post about Women and IT...

(I am one of the few women working at my computer store. One day a male customer speaks up near me.)

Customer: “Wow, that’s a pretty big rack you’ve got there!”
Me: *looking up from monitor screen* “…excuse me?”
(I then follow his gaze to see him looking at a giant walk-in rack mount we have for sale.)

Customer: “Oh, wow. I gotta watch how I phrase things.”

bless his little heart

[snowchick7669]

Haha

That would be pretty funny!

Bet her blood pressure elevated rather fast

[crooz]

I'm not buyin' it. He knew EXACTLY what he was saying (and implying).
Wake up girls... that's an old 'come on.'

[Chopin]

Me: “Thank you for calling [garden store], this is ***. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Yeah, i have mites on my, uh… tomato plants. I need something to put on them to kill the mites”

Me: “Well, sir, we have many different types of sprays and powders for bug eradication that can work.”

Caller: “I need something that can work indoors.”

Me: “Indoors? Like a greenhouse? Because the products we have are all natural and can be used in a greenhouse.”

Caller: “I mean indoors like in my house. I don’t want to use a spray in the closet in my room.”

Me: “Sir, you’re growing tomatoes in your closet?”

Customer “Uh, yeah… so what can I use?”

Me: “Well, we have a powder made of diatomes you can use to kill the mites, and you can still eat the tomatoes without any issue. It’s all natural and perfectly safe.”

Caller: “That sounds good, but… umm, what if I were to smoke the tomato plant? Would that still be safe?”

(I finally realize he’s NOT really talking about tomatoes.)

Me: “Umm, sir, tomato plants are part of the nightshade family and are actually poisonous if ingested. I wouldn’t recommend smoking them or eating the plant itself. Just the tomato.”

Caller: “But, if I had a plant that was smokeable, i could use the powder stuff and it would be okay?”

Me: “Yeah, just make sure you wash it good before you um… smoke it… as you would with any home-grown vegetables and fruits.”

Caller: “You’re sure? Because i don’t wanna die for smoking something i’m not supposed to.”

Me: “Then make sure you aren’t smoking the tomato plants in your closet and you’ll be fine. Have a nice day!”

[rev_olie]

HAHA I hadn't seen that one before 

Wonder how his tomato plant tasted 

(A man calls about his phone line that’s not working. After some checks, it’s clear that the fault is somewhere in our network.)

Me: Alright sir, I’ll open up a support ticket and put it through to our engineers. They’ll fix it for you.”

Male caller: “They oughta fix it soon, because my mother is very ill and in the hospital. I want to be able to be called by the doctors.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. These problems are normally solved pretty quickly, but I’ll make a note of it so that our engineers will give it a higher priority.”

Male caller: “You’d better do that!”

(We end the call and I put the request through. When I check the ticket a day later, I see it has been solved about two hours after the initial call. As part of standard procedure I call the man back. This time, a lady answers the phone.)

Me: “I’m calling you about the trouble you had regarding your phone line. Someone else called about this yesterday and I wanted to ask if everything was take care of well.”

Female caller: “Oh, it must have been my son who called about that. Well, everything was solved, and pretty quick too.”

Me: “Your son? I’m glad to hear you’re out of the hospital already.”

Female caller: “In the hospital? What are you talking about?”

Me: “Your son said you were very ill.”

Female caller: “That liar! He told me he had a trick he uses to get problems like these. He does this all the time. I’ll make sure he won’t do this again!”

Me: “Okay. Well, have a nice day then.”

Female caller: “You too, and I’m sorry about my son. He just looks like his father, that’s all!”

Edited by rev_olie, 07 September 2009 - 03:41 PM.