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Joke of the Day


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#211
ukbiker

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White horse fell in a mud puddle - my favorite!

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???????? (or is it just me?)
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#212
dsenette

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    Je suis Napoléon!

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it's a dirty joke....
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#213
ukbiker

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Ahhh, so it Was just me :tazz:
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#214
Allsortgroup

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    I SPAMMED Too Much!

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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
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#215
flowergirl

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That was funny!
I started to abbreviate your name but
it didn't look so good!
A S S
OOPS...
Janie :tazz:

Edited by flowergirl, 02 October 2005 - 10:36 AM.

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#216
Armodeluxe

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My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No." She answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
"Yes." She replied.
Then I said, " I'd like to phone a friend."
That's the last thing I remember!
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#217
andydf

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A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE
CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN
ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND
I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE
WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS.

I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDESE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON." :tazz: :)
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#218
DynamiteN

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What is the difference between man who falling from 10 floor and man who falling from 1 floor???

-The man hwo falling from 10 floor says

A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A ,SPLASH
and

-The man hwo falling from 1 floor says


SPLASH, A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A

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#219
techwhiZ

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I had to bring the topic back despite my rival jokethread. which is dead...


Anyhoo..



Halloween is meant for scaring ppl so they give u candy. I will not need a costume I scare by myself with my own face! Ill be drowning in candy.......
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#220
HarryMay

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What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?
"Hey y'all,watch this trick.
What's one thing you'll never hear a redneck say?
"I don't know,maybe those tires are too big for that truck."
you know you'tre a redneck if you think the last four words to the nat.l anthem
are "gentlemen,start your engines."
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#221
Game_Freak

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Actor to Director: 'The movie would have been more popular if you shot more scenes than actors!'
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#222
HarryMay

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A biker gets a job helping a farmer way out in the boonies.One day the farmer tells his new employee to go over to the far fields and take care of some the problems there.The biker drives over to the back forty in the farmers pick up and starts to work.Before long it's getting late out and in the dark it's hard to see the old road.Worried,the farmer keys up the c.b. to ask what's taking him so long."Sorry boss.but I hit a pig and it's stuck in the brushguard and squeeling and thrashing about."Tell ya what,the farmer says,there's a .303 under the seat so put him out of his misery,throw him to the side of the road and come along so we can have dinner."Another hour passes so the farmer keys up the c.b. again andasks thebiker what's taking so long.I did like you said,boss,but his motorcycle is still pinned under the truck.
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#223
ukbiker

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    Rest in Peace, ukbiker

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:tazz:
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#224
admin

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An oldie but a goodie. (video -- dial-up beware, 781K)

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#225
andydf

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A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits was that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked a little further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at his wife and said,"Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow every time."
*
The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable.
He should be able to eat soft foods in a week, and is expected to make a full recovery*
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