Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.
Sexy Unix Commands: date; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime;
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Want to Make $$$$ with your Computer? No Risk! Simply press shift-4 four times in a row
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?
A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
..... Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard? The space bar.