So, my best guess is that Windows Explorer is jacked up or infected. The problem computer (Win7 64bit) takes almost an hour to boot up (which it shouldn't, it's running an i5 CPU and an SSD), when it decides to boot up all the way (rather than hang on Windows start up screen for several hours), it opens programs normally (Avast opened up snappy, and regular), except when you have to use windows explorer, or use the desktop (which I imagine uses windows explorer). I've tried to run OTL, but it won't open. I've tried starting in safemode, but it stalls after several hours.
It seems like windows explorer is infected or damaged, because the system hangs when I use windows explorer to do anything with the computer. Therefore, I thought a windows start-up repair might help, so I booted from USB to run Windows Start-up Repair, which ran and found no errors, go figure.
I also tried running OTL.exe from a flash drive, but to no avail.
I'm running out of ideas and I'm not sure how to help folks help me if I can't get a diagnostic scan to run!