[don77]

As many of you know and those that don't do know I have 3 kids ages 18,15 and 11 The 2 older being boys and the youngest being my little princess. All of them play hockey my oldest has been playing since he was 3 so I have been involved for many years,

The question I have for all is how many feel that the parental what I like to call interference is getting way out of hand ?

I would like to see some feelings on this before I go into my feelings on this. Keep in mind this is just not about youth hockey but youth sports in general My kids have all played a second and some a third sport.

As a parent of an 18 year old and an 11 the spectrum is pretty wide, So my dealings with parents that have been involved for a while and the newbies to youth sports,

I have both coached and now manage the team my daughter plays on, On my daughters team ( for the record she is 1 of 2 girls that play in this league, its mostly a boys league ) the league is very competitive and any issues with the team, games, practices and coach issues are to be brought to my attention,

Please post your feelings both positive and negative, Whether your involved in coaching or just a spectator.

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I think being in Sports is GOOD for kids.

One thing for sure it teaches them DISCIPLINE, what with all the after school
practices. True?

It teaches them to be good sports at losing. (My 17 year old grandson played football
this year, the season ended Friday night....he plays with all his might, really hard, yet
his team did not win even once this year.)

It also seems to make the kids a little more KNOWN by others in the school when they
are on a team.

On parents MISBEHAVING....sure there are some that blame the referees for everything,
and make us ashamed to be sitting beside them. What bothers me the most is if they yell
at their kids if they make a mistake...I don't like that at all...It is easy to PLAY from the
bleachers; much harder when you are in the game.

Here is something else that bothers me...when coaches do not let everyone on the team
play....at least for a little while.

Sarah, my granddaugher, played 7th grade Volleyball....she got to play almost every minute, but there were girls that the coach did not put in...That is just not right.

Ok, Don, that is my opinion about Sports.

So I guess the answer is BOTH to your Topic title....sports are for kids AND parents.

Sincerely, Janie

Edited by flowergirl, 22 October 2005 - 08:49 PM.

[flowergirl]

I think being in Sports is GOOD for kids.

One thing for sure it teaches them DISCIPLINE, what with all the after school
practices. True?

It teaches them to be good sports at losing. (My 17 year old grandson played football
this year, the season ended Friday night....he plays with all his might, really hard, yet
his team did not win even once this year.)

It also seems to make the kids a little more KNOWN by others in the school when they
are on a team.

On parents MISBEHAVING....sure there are some that blame the referees for everything,
and make us ashamed to be sitting beside them. What bothers me the most is if they yell
at their kids if they make a mistake...I don't like that at all...It is easy to PLAY from the
bleachers; much harder when you are in the game.

Here is something else that bothers me...when coaches do not let everyone on the team
play....at least for a little while.

Sarah, my granddaugher, played 7th grade Volleyball....she got to play almost every minute, but there were girls that the coach did not put in...That is just not right.

Ok, Don, that is my opinion about Sports.

So I guess the answer is BOTH to your Topic title....sports are for kids AND parents.

Sincerely, Janie

Edited by flowergirl, 22 October 2005 - 08:49 PM.

[Kat]

I have a lot to say on this subject. I have coached the girls in softball for several years. Beka also plays basketball and soccer and is a cheerleader. It is unbelievable how many parents act like absolute idiots during games/matches. I see parents who scream (often cursing) at their own child to "run faster" "hit harder" on and on. Parents scream at the refs/umpires, calling them horrendous names if they dare to make a call against their child.

We live in a small farming community, and play teams from areas like ours. So everyone knows everyone..that kind of thing. Yet it is still so competitive, you'd think these kids are adults with million dollar contracts. It's really sad.

I'm not saying ALL parents are this way. I didn't mean to make it sound that way at all. But there are several who are. I actually was coaching one summer a few years ago. One of my girls missed a pop fly right to her...and the dad got so angry, he actually walked out onto the field DURING the game to yell at her!!!

These kids play sports to learn about sportsmanship, to get exercise, to have fun. It is NOT about winning and losing at such a young age. Why then do so many parents focus only on that?? It's sad.

[don77]

Great feed back, just about what I expected,


I pushed my oldest, I was one of those parents that always expected him to play hard all the time to be the best player. I didn't yell at the coaches but I had long talks with my son after games, He wanted and still does to be very competitive, So we still have our talks after his games now, its no different from when he was 3 as it is now that he is 18, Its funny some nights we will get in the car I wont say anything then 5 minutes into the ride home he will ask so what did you think ? I tell him honestly, If he played bad I tell him, I will look for something positive he did and try to build on it but always making a point to point out what he could have done to played better. He is a tough nut and thrives on feed back of any kind both good and bad, My other 2 are different so I treat them differently, The funny thing is the oldest pushes them more than I do, Maybe it because he pushes them that I don't have to as much


Now let me twist this a bit, At what age do you think it should become more competitive,
Meaning players given a certain amount of playing time, Winning and losing does mater,
I m a bit old school in my line of thinking on this so I will warn you that when I respond to this question I may offend some, But I will wait for others to speak their piece first

[Kat]

Excellent question. At the age level of the kids I watched play football today, it is CRITICAL that each player gets playing time. (matter of fact..it's a league rule). How else will these little kids LEARN to play if they aren't given time off the benches? I'm talking 3rd and 4th graders here. To me, it's all about learning at that level, learning both the fundamentals of the sport..as well as emphasizing sportsmanship. It shoudln't be so focused on winning and losing. (although...it was GREAT to see our little guys win the superbowl today!)

I honestly think that Middle school age (5th grade) is where they should begin to focus more on winning and losing, honing skills..being competitive.

I'm not going to disagree with you on "pushing" your son, Don. But I think there can be a very fine line at times. I think it's good to give your child honest feedback about how they play, and even suggest ways to improve. But I think it's wrong when parents come down hard, putting the child down for not doing "their best" (their best according to the PARENT!) and even yelling. We have to be very careful to do as you say and find the good points, as well, you know?

[dsenette]

i feel that organized sports is a great thing for children, mainly because it teaches social skills and how to interact with other human beings plus it teaches children how to lose....but...when parents get way to involved and end up living vicariously through their children...that's when things go wrong...i mean parents getting physically violent with little league umpires and being verbally abusive to their own or other people's children....well that's just inexcusable...i think parents should just let their kids do what the sport is there for....exercise and fun

[Bobbla]

personlly I had like 3 diffrent sport before now I have none.. and my hole family have some sport they do.. and since I live in the north of norway where its alot of snow.. not much now.. but its enough for some people to ski.. sking is a popular sport in my town.. and so far everyone in my family ski's.. that included me.. I don't do a thing now.. anyways.. what I think is.. Sports is good thing.. as you might have heard there are some weight problems among kids.. and thats mosly couse we eat alot of candy and don't move around alot.. but if we had moved around some more we would have gain some more physical strength and stuff.. I mean.. if you go to a kid and ask him to eather do push ups or do some funny sports he'll probebly go for the sports.. man I'm feeling I'm getting a little off tropic..

cough.. what I'm trying to say.. is that kids need some training even if we don't like it.. couse its good for our healt.. and sometimes.. parents have to kinda push the kids off to somewhere so he can do some sports.. and thats probebly why most of the time the parents try to make the kids do something that they like.. couse they know a little about it.. personly I don't want any involment from my parents.. becouse they don't have the same.. uhmm.. perspective(maybe.. as me when it comes to how sports should be.. of couse they want me and the small once to have fun.. but they also want us to gain more physical strengt.. meaning push ups and stuff..

I mean.. I suffer from chronic laziness.. (is that the right way to say it?) so I like to have fun.. not doing push ups.. and the reason I did 3 diffrent sports at the same time was becouse my mom and dad wanted me too...

++I am probebly the healthyest person in the famliy (probebly couse I trained so much before..) I hear every now and then coming from my family members.. "oo.. my shoulder hurts" my this and my that hurts.. and I'm so tired.. ke ke ke!!! hypochondriac's and I'm still the talest lump of biff in the house

did I explain anything at all here? no?

[HarryMay]

As many of you may not know,I don't have any childrenas I'm not particularly fond of the idea of all that responsability.However I have a (step)brother 1/2 my age and we were(are)quite close.He loved soccer so I used to take him to prac.and games.I was able to objectively watch the lil rugrats and the overdominating parents react,wich really is funny.I always thought that "spurring"him on was actually protecting him against failure and finding faults with the other players brought resentment to the poor tyke.Again I'm no parent but I think the most important part of rearing the young ones should be as a role model.Let 'em fail,but encourage him to get right back up there.A child cannot be forced to succeed,but can learn determination wich will help later in life.

[don77]

Let 'em fail,but encourage him to get right back up there.A child cannot be forced to succeed,but can learn determination wich will help later in life.

Priceless, I was waiting for someone to say this

As it relates to becoming competitive, I had a guy I coached with his son was a below average player. Mine in light of the competition at the time was above average, There was try outs for a select time to go around and play other select teams from within the state, While at the try outs I was a bit surprised to see the coach I had coached with on the ice. After the first try out he comes up to me and says your son made the team, care to be an assistant ?

Now I know my son deserved to be on the team, What bothered me was the fact that this guy has some In's with the higher ups of the league and managed to wiggle his way in to get his son a spot on the team that he clearly had no business being on...

This kid has gone on to change various schools and leagues so that he would make a team all due to his father having money and basically getting onto teams he didn't belong on. I see the kid now and he has NO direction in life,,
I look at my son and not just because the fact that he is my son but has managed to provide quite a bit for himself by becoming the best player he can be , by working hard on and off the ice. I have always told him that regardless of how good you think you are there is always someone better out there then you, If you want to be the best player you can be you have to play against the best players possible.

Now with that said, I told him that education must and will come first,, I m proud and happy to say he just got his results from his SAT scores. 740 out of a possible 800 in Math and a 700 out of a possible 800 in English ( he gets his brains from his mother) But what I truly feel is that he has worked hard in all aspects of life due to his knowing that his hard work will pay off. May not always be #1 but if you shoot for it you get pretty close.