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Joke of the Day


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#706
BHowett

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really upset.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
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#707
Mathax

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Laughed I thought I died. They buried me in sand it, it tickled. Laughed I thought I died. They buried me in sand it, it tickled. Laughed I thought I died. They buried me in sand it, it tickled.
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#708
Mathax

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You'll need to do a hard reboot. Now listen carefully. Rent a van and fill it with stolen dynamite. Park it near the power company's main relay station. Now aim a bazooka at the van.

We need to talk.

Dogbert's tech support
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#709
jt1990

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A drill Sargent lines up his men in front of him. "Gents!" the Sargent bellows, "Is there anyone here who thinks he can take me down?" The men look at the Sargent, who is a big beefy guy.

One man, 6' 6", 250lbs, steps forward and says "Yessir, I think I can."

"Great!" Says the Sargent, grabbing his arm and pulling in him forward, "Now, is there anyone who thinks they can take down the two of us?"
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#710
Troy

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*Troy nudges jt1990 forward to take them both down...

:)
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#711
jt1990

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*jt1990 pulls Troy along with him...

Edited by jt1990, 01 January 2009 - 08:00 AM.

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#712
QuizMaster

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
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#713
BHowett

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thats an old one but good one, every time I read it it brings a smile :)
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#714
zorba the geek

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A couple in their nineties were having trouble remembering things so they went to their doctor for checkups. The doctor told them that they were both physically fine and advised them to write things down to help them remember.

Later that evening while watching television, the husband got up from his chair to go to the kitchen for a snack. He asked his wife if she wanted anything.

"Could you bring me a bowl of ice cream?" she asked.

"Sure," he replied.

"Do you think you should write that down to remember it?" she asked.

"No, I can remember that," he said.

"I'd like some strawberries on it, too. Do you need to write that down?" she said.

"No, I can remember that, too. Ice cream with strawberries," he said, becoming a little irritated.

"I'd like some whipped cream on it, too. Can you remember all that? The doctor said you should write things down," she said.

"For goodness sakes, I can remember that. I don't need to write it down. A bowl of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream," he said, now more than a little irritated.

Off he went to the kitchen. About 20 minutes later he returned with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife stared at it for a moment and said, "Where's my toast?"
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#715
BHowett

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thats to funny... he forgot what she wanted, and she forgot what she asked for :)
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#716
Chopin

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:) :)
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#717
Troy

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Fredil! :)

I thought you'd posted a new joke. :)
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#718
zorba the geek

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A old snake goes to see his Doctor.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
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#719
jt1990

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:)
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#720
BHowett

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A old snake goes to see his Doctor.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"


ha ha thats great :)
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