[sarahw]

I asked a Jew who he was going to vote for as president.

He said, "Well, the last time Jews listened to a bush, they wandered in the desert for 40 years."

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White House staffers were perplexed one morning to see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties pinned to his arm. Somewhat used to the president's tendencies, they let it go and went about their daily tasks.

As the day wore on, several VIPs were ushered in and out of the Oval Office for meetings with Clinton about important affairs of the state. Each one left with a puzzled expression on his face, but no one dared ask the President's personal business.

Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary walked into the office between appointments and gently closed the door behind her. "Mr. President," she said.

"We've come to expect many unusual things from you but we're all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a pair of woman's panties on your arm. Please tell me this doesn't mean more 'trouble'."

"Oh no," the President grinned, "I'm on the patch. I'm trying to quit."

[sarahw]

White House staffers were perplexed one morning to see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties pinned to his arm. Somewhat used to the president's tendencies, they let it go and went about their daily tasks.

As the day wore on, several VIPs were ushered in and out of the Oval Office for meetings with Clinton about important affairs of the state. Each one left with a puzzled expression on his face, but no one dared ask the President's personal business.

Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary walked into the office between appointments and gently closed the door behind her. "Mr. President," she said.

"We've come to expect many unusual things from you but we're all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a pair of woman's panties on your arm. Please tell me this doesn't mean more 'trouble'."

"Oh no," the President grinned, "I'm on the patch. I'm trying to quit."

[BHowett]

"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
Jerry Garcia

Thats just to funny .....

[BHowett]

"The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. "
Joe Ancis

[BHowett]

"I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there."

Richard Feynman (1918 - 1988),
Letter to Armando Garcia J, December 11, 1985

[BHowett]

"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. "

Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948)

[BHowett]

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

Steven Weinberg

[BHowett]

Only as you do know yourself can your brain serve you as a sharp and efficient tool. Know your own failings, passions, and prejudices so you can separate them from what you see.

Bernard M. Baruch

[BHowett]

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Anonymous

[BHowett]

The easiest thing in the world to be is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position.

Leo Buscaglia

[BHowett]

The plural form of most nouns is created simply by adding the letter s.

more than one snake = snakes
more than one ski = skis
more than one Barrymore = Barrymores

Words that end in -ch, x, s or s-like sounds, however, will require an -es for the plural.

[BHowett]

In addition, there are several nouns that have irregular plural forms. Plurals formed in this way are sometimes called mutated (or mutating) plurals.

more than one child = children
more than one woman = women
more than one man = men
more than one person = people
more than one goose = geese
more than one mouse = mice
more than one barracks = barracks
more than one deer = deer

[BHowett]

And, finally, there are nouns that maintain their Latin or Greek form in the plural. (See media and data and alumni, below.)

more than one nucleus = nuclei
more than one syllabus = syllabi
more than one focus = foci
more than one fungus = fungi
more than one cactus = cacti (cactuses is acceptable)
more than one thesis = theses
more than one crisis = crises*
more than one phenomenon = phenomena
more than one index = indices (indexes is acceptable)
more than one appendix = appendices (appendixes is acceptable)
more than one criterion = criteria

[BHowett]

A handful of nouns appear to be plural in form but take a singular verb:

The news is bad.
Gymnastics is fun to watch.
Economics/mathematics/statistics is said to be difficult. ("Economics" can sometimes be a plural concept, as in "The economics of the situation demand that . . . .")
Numerical expressions are usually singular, but can be plural if the individuals within a numerical group are acting individually:

Fifty thousand dollars is a lot of money.
One-half of the faculty is retiring this summer.
One-half of the faculty have doctorates.
Fifty percent of the students have voted already.

[BHowett]

And another handful of nouns might seem to be singular in nature but take a plural form and always use a plural verb:

My pants are torn. (Nowadays you will sometimes see this word as a singular "pant" [meaning one pair of pants] especially in clothing ads, but most writers would regard that as an affectation.)
Her scissors were stolen.
The glasses have slipped down his nose again.