
Joke of the Day
#376
Posted 27 September 2007 - 06:50 AM

#377
Posted 27 September 2007 - 06:54 AM



#378
Posted 27 September 2007 - 10:36 AM

Thanks frantique,i was waiting all day for someone else to reply,Troy, I'll PM you the answer. Noone else needs to explain to him!


#379
Posted 27 September 2007 - 11:50 AM

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been 7 days since my last confession and I've been with a woman of loose morals."
The priest asks, "Is that you, Timmy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well Timmy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now! Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say," Timmy replied.
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Sheilah O'Brien?"
I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Kathleen Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona Grogan, then?"
"Please Father, I cannot tell you."
"The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Timmy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned and you must atone. You cannot attend church or Mass for three months. Be off with you now."
Timmy walked back to his pew.
His friend Sean, slides over and whispered, "What did you get?"
"Three month's vacation and five good leads."
#380
Posted 03 October 2007 - 10:37 AM

The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
#381
Posted 07 October 2007 - 09:34 PM

#382
Posted 07 October 2007 - 10:36 PM

Deckard's System Scanner v20070905.67
Run by Main User on 2007-10-07 23:23:21
Computer is in Normal Mode.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-- HijackThis (run as Main User.exe) -------------------------------------------
Logfile of Trend Micro HijackThis v2.0.2
Scan saved at 11:23:22 PM, on 10/7/2007
Platform: Windows XP SP2 (WinNT 5.01.2600)
MSIE: Internet Explorer v7.00 (7.00.6000.16512)
Boot mode: Normal

-- End of Deckard's System Scanner: finished at 2007-10-07 23:23:52 ------------
Edited by PsychPosse, 08 October 2007 - 10:54 PM.
#383
Posted 11 October 2007 - 07:22 PM

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there.
#384
Posted 12 October 2007 - 04:45 AM

teacher.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of
candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little
bit.
She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?.
"No," said the little boy............ "It's a puppy!"
#385
Posted 12 October 2007 - 11:10 AM


A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."

#386
Posted 16 October 2007 - 02:18 PM

Authorities have arrrested the little rabbit, aka, "The Energizer Bunny".
He is being held without bail, as they are charging him with battery.

#387
Posted 16 October 2007 - 02:38 PM


Edited by frantique, 17 October 2007 - 01:27 AM.
#388
Posted 16 October 2007 - 04:26 PM


#389
Posted 17 October 2007 - 08:15 AM

Oooops!SorryEdited: Zorba, very funny ... but not really family friendly

#390
Posted 17 October 2007 - 02:59 PM

?It just shows how piggy men are

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