well....if mike's going the jack handy route...so will i
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.”
“If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting”
“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”
“If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.”
“Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.”
"When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmmm, boy.”
“If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.”
"If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say”
“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”
my favorite one...(though i can't at the moment prove it's a jack handy...but i'm sure it is)
"i wanna die like grandpa did, peacefully in my sleep.....not screaming in terror like the rest of the family in the car"
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