try some of these i thought they would fit in
The Top 10 Geek T-Shirt Slogans
1. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
2. <-------- The information went data way
3. The name is Baud......, James Baud.
4. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
5. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
6. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
7. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
8. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
9. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
10. Go ahead, make my data!
Computer Age Sayings
1. Home is where you hang your @.
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
9. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Windows will never cease.
18. In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
19. Virtual reality is its own reward.
20. Modulation in all things.
21. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
22. There's no place like www.home.com.
23. Know what to expect before you connect.
24. Oh, what a tangled Web site we weave when first we practice.
25. Speed thrills.
26. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
You know it is time to reassess your relationship with your computer when....
1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed.
2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.
4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.
5. You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail.
6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.
7. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a computer.
8. When your email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really depressed.
9. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have nondescript screen name and you never bothered to ask.
10. You move into a new house and you decide to "Netscape" before you landscape.
11. Your family always knows where you are.
12. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL".
13. After reading this list, you forward it to a friend!
Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Yuppie Food Stamps: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We all owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, messes over everything and then leaves
Blowing your buffer: Losing your train of thought.
Salmon day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get hooked at the end.
Chainsaw consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the brass with clean hands.
Career-limiting move (CLM): Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
Depotphobia: Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of how much money one might spend. Electronics geeks experience Shackophobia or Frysaphobia.
Adminisphere: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Dilberted: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-[bleep] comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found", meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404."
Generica: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions. Used as in "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."
GOOD Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job: A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a "cube farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
Telephone Number Salary : A salary (or project budget) that has seven digits.
Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Computer
10) Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
9) It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.
8) In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.
7) It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".
6) The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.
5) Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.
4) The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"
3) The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"
2) You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.
1) The only chip inside is a Dorito.
PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
WWW - World Wide Wait
SCSI - System Can't See It
DOS - Defunct Operating System
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
DEC - Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too
MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses
MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
GIRO - Garbage In Rubbish Out
MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
Windows 95 Error Codes
Recently the following undocumented Windows 95 error-codes were found. Microsoft forgot to explain them in the manuals, so they will be spread via the Internet:
Windows loaded - System in danger
No Error - Yet
Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
Multitasking attempted - System confused
System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware
Horrible bug encountered - God knows what has happened
Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB
Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More! More!
Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
Unexpected error - Huh ?
Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.
Unrecoverable error - System has been destroyed. Buy a new one. Old Windows licence is not valid anymore.
User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
Operating system overwritten - Please reinstall all your software. We are terribly sorry.
Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will get a penalty for that.
System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.
Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.
Reserved for future mistakes of our developers.
Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost.
Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again.
Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.
Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded.
This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.
Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 bytes available
Sorry about that but i didn't read all of the jokes before i posted but i will be much more careful in future
Edited by Shock Box, 01 March 2007 - 03:54 PM.