[Aushin]

Wish granted: unfortunately, though you love your job, you're only being paid as much as a Madagascarian movie star, roughly twelve twigs per hour.


I wish I were the funniest writer on earth.

[Advertisements]

Your wish has been granted. You are the funniest person on earth, however, your comedy has caused numerous people to die of laughter. You are now sentenced to prison time. Hey, at least Bubba will be laughinh WITH YOU this time!

I wish for no more clowns to exist (sorry if anyone's profession is a clown)

[Facedown98]

Your wish has been granted. You are the funniest person on earth, however, your comedy has caused numerous people to die of laughter. You are now sentenced to prison time. Hey, at least Bubba will be laughinh WITH YOU this time!

I wish for no more clowns to exist (sorry if anyone's profession is a clown)

[sari]

wish granted: there are no more clowns, but there are mimes on every street corner in every city in the world.

I wish I had a monkey that looked like dsenette.

[dsenette]

wish granted: i have now moved into your house, eaten every etible food item in your home and smeared poop onto every surface on your home (and any children present that were too slow to avoid the onslaught)

i wish that i had a kangaroo with a saddle that i could ride around

[sari]

Wish granted, but it's a carnivorous kangaroo with a special fondness for eating monkeys.

I wish I was a famous singer

[dsenette]

wish granted: you are now a famous singer...a famous singer named "meatloaf" have fun with your "career"

i wish that i could have cool pants like ScHwErV

[ScHwErV]

Wish granted, you are now on ScHwErV's bad list.

I wish I had a pair of scissors.

[sari]

Wish granted - however, you are now Edward Scissorshands, and constantly slash your face, clothes, etc. and your wife will no longer let you near her.

I wish I owned a restaurant.

[dsenette]

wish granted: you now own a resteraunt, a resteraunt that only sells rancid food, you've now killed off most of the people in your town...you might wanna leave the country before people have time to light their torches

i wish that i had a metal jock strap

I wish I had a pair of scissors.

Wish granted, you are now on ScHwErV's bad list.

pfft i JUST now made it onto the "bad list"? ...have you just not been able to find a pen for all this time?

[computerwiz12890]

Wish granted. You now have a metal jock strap. However, you cannot take it off at all. It is stuck with you forever. As a result, you develop an extremely repugnant odor, and thus no living creature can stand to be within 100 feet of you.

I wish I built and piloted the first interstellar starship.

[dsenette]

wish granted: one day you will decide to build your own BB-Q pit in your back yard...due to a freak propane (and propane accessory) accident, the BB-Q explodes propelling you through space, while clutching the chared lid to your BB-Q you bounce off of a rogue asteroid which hurles you onto a planet somewhere near alpha-centauri...you were never heard from again

i wish i could achieve time travel

[Facedown98]

Your wish has been granted. You have traveled so far back in time that dinosaurs are all around you. After about five minutes of looking around, a giant T-Rex decides to make you a snack. Hope you brought salt!

I wish it would stop lightning at my house and thus cutting off my power!!!!

[computerwiz12890]

Wish granted. You are given the power to control the weather. You are able to stop lightning, however, due to your lack of experience, you create a tornado that destroys your house and your family. Nice job sparky.

I wish I was Obi-Wan Kenobi at the age of 30.

[Facedown98]

Your wish has been granted, you are Obi-Wan. Dsenette's monkey invasion came and wiped your silly planet Earth out. Nice try.

I wish I had more time.

[Aushin]

Wish granted: you now own every issue of Time Magazine (hey you could probably ebay it for a bunch)

I wish my next wish wouldn't get picked apart on some technicality.